HORSEBACK RIDING FOR CHILDREN
There’s no denying the magnetic qualitybond that exists between children and horses. Children are impressed by a horse’s power, r and grace, and overwhelmed at the chance to ride one. Aside from fulfilling childhood fantasies, horseback riding has several unexpected benefits for kids.
Parents are always looking for healthy outdoor activities to get kids outside and away from their video games. Horseback riding is an excellent exercise, strengthening both balance and coordination while in the saddle.
Horseback riding is also a wonderful opportunity to teach children about nature and respect for animals. Building this bond at an early age provides great mental health benefits as well as an everlasting appreciation for the environment.
Aside from all the great exercise and fresh air, horseback riding is a wonderful way to build confidence. Learning to coordinate and control an animal that could easily overpower an adult is something children will be proud of. Learning to ride is not easy and takes courage and patience from new riders. The benefit of horseback riding for kids is well worth the effort and can leave a lifelong experience.
Horseback riding is also a social opportunity for children to interact with each other in a safe and encouraging environment. Also, the joy and recreational benefits of making friends at a stable will encourage children to spend more time participating in similar activities.
Finally, horseback riding teaches many lessons of responsibility. Horses require a bounty of attention, from medical care to physical conditioning. Learning about these needs and teaching children to be responsible for them will provide kids with a sense of purpose they won’t get from other outdoor sports.
The most important benefit of horseback riding is the fun and friendship of bonding with a horse. Children will naturally take to horseback riding if given the opportunity and will enjoy all of the benefits listed above.
Horseback riding is a great activity for children of all ages and can lead to great benefits in their lives.
https://the.ismaili/culture-diversity/h ... g-children
Parenting Issues
The Internet Makes Motherhood Seem Miserable. What if It Isn’t?
Scary mom stories filled me with dread. I wish I’d known how delightful I would find having a child.
The internet almost scared me out of having a baby.
By the time I reached my early 30s, I had read every miserable Facebook post from people I knew with kids, ranting about never getting to sleep past 5 a.m. or returning to work with the haze of “mom brain.” I had clicked on articles that promised the “real truth” about painful postpartum sex or losing friends when your baby takes over your social life.
My husband and I weren’t sure if we wanted a child. We waited until we felt like we could endure the hits we were warned would come with a new baby. A joint account labeled “possible family or vacation” had slowly swelled since we got engaged eight years before, and we reached a steady place in our careers and our relationship. We didn’t have a clear reason to try for a baby, but we also didn’t have one not to.
Still, I read so much about infertility that after 20 years on the pill, I doubted whether I could conceive at all. Eventually, two faint pink lines overruled that concern, and I began worrying about miscarriage rates instead.
I spent nine months bracing for the worst. I kept a list of over 350 things I Googled, from “tips for telling boss about pregnancy” to “leaking boobs second trimester” and “can you drink kombucha while pregnant.” I followed three pregnancy podcasts, two daily pregnancy apps, a weekly live chat on pregnancy nutrition and dozens of Instagram accounts and message boards. After listening to an episode of “Preggie Pals,” I became convinced that I was at risk of short, precipitous labor and brought it up at every doctor’s appointment. An article from Whole Mamas convinced me to give up sugar out of concern about gestational diabetes.
I mentally prepared for things I never knew to worry about before: pelvic floor injuries and marital resentment and postpartum anxiety. I heard enough stories to know that birth would be a mess and motherhood would change everything, mostly for the worse.
I never expected what actually happened. “I wasn’t quite prepared for how much fun it’s been,” I wrote on my son’s first birthday last year, sharing a video with chronological clips of him cooing and crying and crawling.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/12/opin ... 0920200312
Scary mom stories filled me with dread. I wish I’d known how delightful I would find having a child.
The internet almost scared me out of having a baby.
By the time I reached my early 30s, I had read every miserable Facebook post from people I knew with kids, ranting about never getting to sleep past 5 a.m. or returning to work with the haze of “mom brain.” I had clicked on articles that promised the “real truth” about painful postpartum sex or losing friends when your baby takes over your social life.
My husband and I weren’t sure if we wanted a child. We waited until we felt like we could endure the hits we were warned would come with a new baby. A joint account labeled “possible family or vacation” had slowly swelled since we got engaged eight years before, and we reached a steady place in our careers and our relationship. We didn’t have a clear reason to try for a baby, but we also didn’t have one not to.
Still, I read so much about infertility that after 20 years on the pill, I doubted whether I could conceive at all. Eventually, two faint pink lines overruled that concern, and I began worrying about miscarriage rates instead.
I spent nine months bracing for the worst. I kept a list of over 350 things I Googled, from “tips for telling boss about pregnancy” to “leaking boobs second trimester” and “can you drink kombucha while pregnant.” I followed three pregnancy podcasts, two daily pregnancy apps, a weekly live chat on pregnancy nutrition and dozens of Instagram accounts and message boards. After listening to an episode of “Preggie Pals,” I became convinced that I was at risk of short, precipitous labor and brought it up at every doctor’s appointment. An article from Whole Mamas convinced me to give up sugar out of concern about gestational diabetes.
I mentally prepared for things I never knew to worry about before: pelvic floor injuries and marital resentment and postpartum anxiety. I heard enough stories to know that birth would be a mess and motherhood would change everything, mostly for the worse.
I never expected what actually happened. “I wasn’t quite prepared for how much fun it’s been,” I wrote on my son’s first birthday last year, sharing a video with chronological clips of him cooing and crying and crawling.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/12/opin ... 0920200312
Womens Activities Seminar
Women’s Activity board held its first seminar focusing on Parenting and Behavior Management.
The topics included parenting styles and techniques, importance of routines and structure for children and fostering growth through positive interaction. It was conducted by a qualified and experienced psychotherapist who specializes in working with children and parents exclusively.
Led primarily in English and Hindi, the two-hour program was packed with information. This stimulating forum absorbed the attention of the participants, promoting discussion and resolving queries. The seminar included visual aids, reading materials, and a questionnaire that helped educate the members on best practices on children’s upbringing.
We are hoping this very informative session will be part of a series, encouraging good mental health, coping skills, and promoting awareness and positivity to functioning in ever changing conditions and environments.
While the women were attending the seminar, children participated in fun activities, such as face painting, games, and a puppet show.
The afternoon concluded with lunch and a cooking demonstration, allowing the participants to relax, socialize and enjoy International Women’s Day.
https://the.ismaili/portugal/womens-activities-seminar
Women’s Activity board held its first seminar focusing on Parenting and Behavior Management.
The topics included parenting styles and techniques, importance of routines and structure for children and fostering growth through positive interaction. It was conducted by a qualified and experienced psychotherapist who specializes in working with children and parents exclusively.
Led primarily in English and Hindi, the two-hour program was packed with information. This stimulating forum absorbed the attention of the participants, promoting discussion and resolving queries. The seminar included visual aids, reading materials, and a questionnaire that helped educate the members on best practices on children’s upbringing.
We are hoping this very informative session will be part of a series, encouraging good mental health, coping skills, and promoting awareness and positivity to functioning in ever changing conditions and environments.
While the women were attending the seminar, children participated in fun activities, such as face painting, games, and a puppet show.
The afternoon concluded with lunch and a cooking demonstration, allowing the participants to relax, socialize and enjoy International Women’s Day.
https://the.ismaili/portugal/womens-activities-seminar
Supporting Families To Help Children Learn And Develop At Home
We know that meeting the demands and expectations of supporting children to ‘learn at home’ can be overwhelming. These resources provides a note of reassurance, support, and a synthesis of available resources for parents and caregivers as they adjust to these challenging new times.
https://the.ismaili/kenya/supporting-fa ... velop-home
We know that meeting the demands and expectations of supporting children to ‘learn at home’ can be overwhelming. These resources provides a note of reassurance, support, and a synthesis of available resources for parents and caregivers as they adjust to these challenging new times.
https://the.ismaili/kenya/supporting-fa ... velop-home
Strategies to support your neurodiverse child during lockdown
AKSWB have provided some strategies that may assist parents and carers to support their neurodiverse child during lockdown.
• It is important to help your child understand why their daily routine has changed and explain it in a way they can access it– think about how they understand things; it could be simple explanations, visuals including pictures and symbols. You may find this ebook helpful:
https://issuu.com/nosycrow/docs/coronav ... utton=true
• A lack of structure / routine may cause some children to feel anxious so have a schedule (which you plan with your child whenever possible), outlining household activities, meal times, break times (including free play), activity outside the house and screen time for each day
• A visual timetable can be useful for explaining what your child is doing now, and what they will be doing next
• Give countdowns when you are about to transition to another activity either visually or verbally e.g. a timer may help them understand the start, the end and the transition between activities, perhaps display a stopwatch on an ipad or say ‘in 5 minutes we are going to be making lunch’
• Where possible, offer a choice and use the “first...then” approach so the child feels some control over their day
• Maintain connections that are important to your child; write letters/ emails, make a card or a phone call. Use pictures of important people in their lives (teachers, friends, family) so you can continue to have conversations about them
• Enjoy your child’s company; carry out a favourite activity that they enjoy doing with you
• For children who experience sensory overload, ensure that there is minimal distraction and build in some quiet time in the day as too much activity can be overwhelming
• For those that need regular movement; plan breaks, activities like a hand massage or extra play time in the bath, breathing / relaxation activities or create a sensory diet with your child for them to follow – ideas can be found here: https://www.sensorysmarts.com/sensory-diet.pdf
• Give your child positive attention as they may need extra reassurance at this time or be seeking closer proximity to you; allow them to discuss their feelings openly, read stories that encourage this
• Check in with your child regularly in order to ascertain how they are feeling or whether they have any thoughts or questions they want to discuss or communicate with you
• As the parent, look after YOU, give yourself regular breaks, connect with friends and family, make time to fill your bucket with things that give you energy and make you smile
If you are a parent of a neurodiverse child and require support, please contact the inclusion team of the Social Welfare Board on akswb.inclusion@iiuk.org - we are here to support you in any way we can.
https://the.ismaili/uk/strategies-suppo ... g-lockdown
AKSWB have provided some strategies that may assist parents and carers to support their neurodiverse child during lockdown.
• It is important to help your child understand why their daily routine has changed and explain it in a way they can access it– think about how they understand things; it could be simple explanations, visuals including pictures and symbols. You may find this ebook helpful:
https://issuu.com/nosycrow/docs/coronav ... utton=true
• A lack of structure / routine may cause some children to feel anxious so have a schedule (which you plan with your child whenever possible), outlining household activities, meal times, break times (including free play), activity outside the house and screen time for each day
• A visual timetable can be useful for explaining what your child is doing now, and what they will be doing next
• Give countdowns when you are about to transition to another activity either visually or verbally e.g. a timer may help them understand the start, the end and the transition between activities, perhaps display a stopwatch on an ipad or say ‘in 5 minutes we are going to be making lunch’
• Where possible, offer a choice and use the “first...then” approach so the child feels some control over their day
• Maintain connections that are important to your child; write letters/ emails, make a card or a phone call. Use pictures of important people in their lives (teachers, friends, family) so you can continue to have conversations about them
• Enjoy your child’s company; carry out a favourite activity that they enjoy doing with you
• For children who experience sensory overload, ensure that there is minimal distraction and build in some quiet time in the day as too much activity can be overwhelming
• For those that need regular movement; plan breaks, activities like a hand massage or extra play time in the bath, breathing / relaxation activities or create a sensory diet with your child for them to follow – ideas can be found here: https://www.sensorysmarts.com/sensory-diet.pdf
• Give your child positive attention as they may need extra reassurance at this time or be seeking closer proximity to you; allow them to discuss their feelings openly, read stories that encourage this
• Check in with your child regularly in order to ascertain how they are feeling or whether they have any thoughts or questions they want to discuss or communicate with you
• As the parent, look after YOU, give yourself regular breaks, connect with friends and family, make time to fill your bucket with things that give you energy and make you smile
If you are a parent of a neurodiverse child and require support, please contact the inclusion team of the Social Welfare Board on akswb.inclusion@iiuk.org - we are here to support you in any way we can.
https://the.ismaili/uk/strategies-suppo ... g-lockdown
National Infertility Awareness Week
This week is National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW). The mission of NIAW is to empower individuals and change the conversation around infertility. All too often myths and misinformation appear that create barriers for people who need help building their family, and can lead to them feeling isolated. NIAW aims to empower them to share their story and feel part of a community that cares. In commemoration of this week, Farah Gina Condor has kindly shared her personal story with infertility.
“The Childless Mother” from Farah Gina Condor:
Expectations and dreams
I always believed I would be a mother; my upbringing taught me that the natural progression in life was to meet someone, get married, have a family and coupled with my natural affiliation towards children, I had no reason to believe that it would be any different.
I had little ambition to be the career, entrepreneur and business woman that I am today; all I dreamed of was to have children running around to cook for, educate, play with, love and share guidance and so help them grow into well balanced adults, able to look after themselves, and anyone else that they chose to share their lives with.
Heartbreaks
My heart was broken at 21 and I struggled deeply to muster the desire to give it to anyone else, but someone did come along and we married as I turned 31. With my fertility clock ticking, just 6 months after that day, I found myself pregnant, we were over the moon. However, joy was to be short lived.
The journey of emotional loss and pain of proportions I can’t begin to explain ensued; disappointments I had experienced, but this was quite different. The physical was bearable but emotional and psychological unbearable, the desolation, the feelings of being a failure, insurmountable. “I am a woman, I am successful in everything I do, so why can I not do the most natural thing that a woman should be able to do?
8 years later, 9 more miscarriages and a plethora of attention from natural practitioners and consultants and at nearly 38, I fell pregnant. With 23 weeks under my belt, I began to feel hope of having a child. The universe decided differently, my last attempt at motherhood resulted in my journey’s end, the birth of “Spunky Genes Condor” our beautiful perfectly formed baby boy with a still heart.
Challenges and depression
My shame was inconsolable. I told my husband that he should leave to have a birth child; he is the last in his lineage/heritage, the last of the Condors. He said no, that he had married me because of who I am. He would stay.
Deep depression consumed me, I struggled to come to terms with something no woman should have to do, days turned into weeks then months, walls enclosed me, night and day became one.
6 months later with a great deal of support from professionals, my strong and loving husband and my amazing sister, I finally started to live again.
After the horror, came children
The last tears shed, the universe revealed its plan.
I realised I was none of the things I thought, I was a mother in waiting, for my time, ‘my’ children, those of the earth that needed someone.
I didn’t adopt, have a surrogate nor foster. I was to be mother to many children, none of whom I birthed.
My nieces and nephews from birth to now, they acknowledge me on Mother’s Day; grown up as they now are, they know that I love them fiercely, know I am here whenever, however they need me.
Others who needed a mother figure came. Teenagers whose mothers abandoned them, younger children whose mothers needed rest and respite, children from a less advantaged background who were educated through apprenticeships in my business. This loving helped me deal with loss, pain and the shame of feeling like a failure.
Today my ‘children’ are there for me too if I need help. They tell me I am too protective, that I suffocate them with love, that they are lucky to have me, they laugh with me, I tease them, they say I am annoying, we cuddle, cry, sort stuff out, I help them find direction, guide them and they teach me ‘young’ stuff!
Blessings
With faith and space there is always a timeline to our story, our path, and sometimes not getting what we want is a stroke of luck.
I am not a birth mother, I gave the universe space to reveal my role, and here I am today with children still coming into my life. I have more children in my life than we could have made on our own!
I am blessed.
I helped women like me, I adopted children through PLAN and the best thing is they got to stay in their own communities and with their families.
Being a mother comes in many forms, and is personal to each woman. To me the maternal instinct to want to guide, protect, love, nourish and grow children until they become well-rounded stable adults able to do the same when they have children of their own, is being a mother.
That is all; that is why I am and always will be a mother of the earth, childless but full of joy and love for everything that children born of others have brought me, and those children’s future children. And, I hope that I in turn have brought them what they needed.
“Blessed are we who found each other and in that finding followed the path not of expectation, but of discovery”
Around 1 in 7 couples may have difficulties having children. If you or your family have similar experiences, remember your voice is your power – share your feelings with your loved ones, be honest when you need help and empower others with what you learn and experience.
If you need support or someone to talk to, the Women’s Activities Portfolio is here for you – please reach out at WAP@iiuk.org at any time. WAP will be running roadshows over the coming months to raise awareness about hormonal balance for men and women, including infertility.
All together, we can.
https://the.ismaili/uk/national-inferti ... eness-week
This week is National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW). The mission of NIAW is to empower individuals and change the conversation around infertility. All too often myths and misinformation appear that create barriers for people who need help building their family, and can lead to them feeling isolated. NIAW aims to empower them to share their story and feel part of a community that cares. In commemoration of this week, Farah Gina Condor has kindly shared her personal story with infertility.
“The Childless Mother” from Farah Gina Condor:
Expectations and dreams
I always believed I would be a mother; my upbringing taught me that the natural progression in life was to meet someone, get married, have a family and coupled with my natural affiliation towards children, I had no reason to believe that it would be any different.
I had little ambition to be the career, entrepreneur and business woman that I am today; all I dreamed of was to have children running around to cook for, educate, play with, love and share guidance and so help them grow into well balanced adults, able to look after themselves, and anyone else that they chose to share their lives with.
Heartbreaks
My heart was broken at 21 and I struggled deeply to muster the desire to give it to anyone else, but someone did come along and we married as I turned 31. With my fertility clock ticking, just 6 months after that day, I found myself pregnant, we were over the moon. However, joy was to be short lived.
The journey of emotional loss and pain of proportions I can’t begin to explain ensued; disappointments I had experienced, but this was quite different. The physical was bearable but emotional and psychological unbearable, the desolation, the feelings of being a failure, insurmountable. “I am a woman, I am successful in everything I do, so why can I not do the most natural thing that a woman should be able to do?
8 years later, 9 more miscarriages and a plethora of attention from natural practitioners and consultants and at nearly 38, I fell pregnant. With 23 weeks under my belt, I began to feel hope of having a child. The universe decided differently, my last attempt at motherhood resulted in my journey’s end, the birth of “Spunky Genes Condor” our beautiful perfectly formed baby boy with a still heart.
Challenges and depression
My shame was inconsolable. I told my husband that he should leave to have a birth child; he is the last in his lineage/heritage, the last of the Condors. He said no, that he had married me because of who I am. He would stay.
Deep depression consumed me, I struggled to come to terms with something no woman should have to do, days turned into weeks then months, walls enclosed me, night and day became one.
6 months later with a great deal of support from professionals, my strong and loving husband and my amazing sister, I finally started to live again.
After the horror, came children
The last tears shed, the universe revealed its plan.
I realised I was none of the things I thought, I was a mother in waiting, for my time, ‘my’ children, those of the earth that needed someone.
I didn’t adopt, have a surrogate nor foster. I was to be mother to many children, none of whom I birthed.
My nieces and nephews from birth to now, they acknowledge me on Mother’s Day; grown up as they now are, they know that I love them fiercely, know I am here whenever, however they need me.
Others who needed a mother figure came. Teenagers whose mothers abandoned them, younger children whose mothers needed rest and respite, children from a less advantaged background who were educated through apprenticeships in my business. This loving helped me deal with loss, pain and the shame of feeling like a failure.
Today my ‘children’ are there for me too if I need help. They tell me I am too protective, that I suffocate them with love, that they are lucky to have me, they laugh with me, I tease them, they say I am annoying, we cuddle, cry, sort stuff out, I help them find direction, guide them and they teach me ‘young’ stuff!
Blessings
With faith and space there is always a timeline to our story, our path, and sometimes not getting what we want is a stroke of luck.
I am not a birth mother, I gave the universe space to reveal my role, and here I am today with children still coming into my life. I have more children in my life than we could have made on our own!
I am blessed.
I helped women like me, I adopted children through PLAN and the best thing is they got to stay in their own communities and with their families.
Being a mother comes in many forms, and is personal to each woman. To me the maternal instinct to want to guide, protect, love, nourish and grow children until they become well-rounded stable adults able to do the same when they have children of their own, is being a mother.
That is all; that is why I am and always will be a mother of the earth, childless but full of joy and love for everything that children born of others have brought me, and those children’s future children. And, I hope that I in turn have brought them what they needed.
“Blessed are we who found each other and in that finding followed the path not of expectation, but of discovery”
Around 1 in 7 couples may have difficulties having children. If you or your family have similar experiences, remember your voice is your power – share your feelings with your loved ones, be honest when you need help and empower others with what you learn and experience.
If you need support or someone to talk to, the Women’s Activities Portfolio is here for you – please reach out at WAP@iiuk.org at any time. WAP will be running roadshows over the coming months to raise awareness about hormonal balance for men and women, including infertility.
All together, we can.
https://the.ismaili/uk/national-inferti ... eness-week
Motherhood Changes Us All
The most memorable moment of becoming a mother often involves a single day. You gave birth, or the child someone else baked inside comes into your life. It’s a before, and an after. But that first day is only the beginning of an identity shift that is ongoing and eternal. The person you are after the first year of motherhood is not the same person you are after year three, year 10 or year 40.
That’s why, in honor of Mother’s Day, we decided to look at the whole messy, glorious, complicated story of identity and motherhood.
We have short essays about how becoming a mother changed the way we look at ourselves, from our relationships to our own ambitions, as well as failure, body image and more, written by Amber Tamblyn, Casey Wilson, Nikole Hannah-Jones, Angela Garbes, Robin Tunney, Jennifer Weiner and several others. There’s a piece by Jenni Gritters about how motherhood rewires your brain, and another by Pooja Lakshmin, M.D., a perinatal psychiatrist, about how not to lose yourself when you become a parent.
During this coronavirus pandemic, it can be hard to know who we are as people, as the barriers between our public and maternal selves have collapsed in ways we never considered. But if there’s one thing to take away from all of these stories, it’s that your identity as a mother isn’t fixed; it’s likely to change in ways that will surprise and maybe even delight, as you and your children grow.
Links to the articles at:
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/202 ... 778d3e6de3
The most memorable moment of becoming a mother often involves a single day. You gave birth, or the child someone else baked inside comes into your life. It’s a before, and an after. But that first day is only the beginning of an identity shift that is ongoing and eternal. The person you are after the first year of motherhood is not the same person you are after year three, year 10 or year 40.
That’s why, in honor of Mother’s Day, we decided to look at the whole messy, glorious, complicated story of identity and motherhood.
We have short essays about how becoming a mother changed the way we look at ourselves, from our relationships to our own ambitions, as well as failure, body image and more, written by Amber Tamblyn, Casey Wilson, Nikole Hannah-Jones, Angela Garbes, Robin Tunney, Jennifer Weiner and several others. There’s a piece by Jenni Gritters about how motherhood rewires your brain, and another by Pooja Lakshmin, M.D., a perinatal psychiatrist, about how not to lose yourself when you become a parent.
During this coronavirus pandemic, it can be hard to know who we are as people, as the barriers between our public and maternal selves have collapsed in ways we never considered. But if there’s one thing to take away from all of these stories, it’s that your identity as a mother isn’t fixed; it’s likely to change in ways that will surprise and maybe even delight, as you and your children grow.
Links to the articles at:
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/202 ... 778d3e6de3
Is Your Child Missing their Speech Therapy Sessions?
Aga Khan University Hospital Pakistan
We know that many parents are worried about their child`s regular speech therapy sessions and we recommend watching this video with your child. Ask them to repeat the same exercises as they are very helpful for you and your child. Follow these exercises and keep your child engaged during this current situation.
Video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_cont ... e=emb_logo
Aga Khan University Hospital Pakistan
We know that many parents are worried about their child`s regular speech therapy sessions and we recommend watching this video with your child. Ask them to repeat the same exercises as they are very helpful for you and your child. Follow these exercises and keep your child engaged during this current situation.
Video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_cont ... e=emb_logo
What if Some Kids Are Better Off at Home?
For parents like me, the pandemic has come with a revelation: For our children, school was torture.
In the early morning hours of Monday, March 9, I was locked in battle with my oldest son, Izac, then a freshman in high school, over what felt like his one-billionth request to skip his 7 a.m. physical education class. He said he was tired and anxious and begged for a break. I told him that when you commit to something, you show up. End of story. And so off he went to school, bleary-eyed and resentful.
Four days later, all of my kids were home, with schools closed “out of an abundance of caution” to prevent the spread of Covid-19. Before long, the morning rush to get to class on time felt like a distant memory. The pandemic changed everything.
One difference that became clear within a few weeks of lockdown: My son was happy.
Izac, my lanky, serious-faced 15-year-old who runs cross-country and listens to Kendrick Lamar, has A.D.H.D. He’s never been disruptive — he’s more the dreamy, nose-in-a-book type who likes a calm environment and a limited schedule. Sadly, he’s rarely had that. But while my husband and I knew the pressure of a traditional school day could be challenging for him, we didn’t realize exactly how miserable he was.
It felt like he started breathing again the day in-person school was canceled. He started smiling again. This happiness was profound.
We are not the only family experiencing this. Yes, students across the country are complaining that they miss seeing their friends, and many parents are struggling with the unsustainable arrangement that is working from home while supervising virtual learning. But amid all this, there’s also a group of kids who, whether because of bullying, mental health issues or simple overscheduling and pressure, struggled at school in a way that’s been made undeniable by the way they’re thriving at home amid the pandemic. Parents like me are having to contemplate whether traditional school — a staple of American childhood — in fact hurts our children.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/10/opin ... 778d3e6de3
For parents like me, the pandemic has come with a revelation: For our children, school was torture.
In the early morning hours of Monday, March 9, I was locked in battle with my oldest son, Izac, then a freshman in high school, over what felt like his one-billionth request to skip his 7 a.m. physical education class. He said he was tired and anxious and begged for a break. I told him that when you commit to something, you show up. End of story. And so off he went to school, bleary-eyed and resentful.
Four days later, all of my kids were home, with schools closed “out of an abundance of caution” to prevent the spread of Covid-19. Before long, the morning rush to get to class on time felt like a distant memory. The pandemic changed everything.
One difference that became clear within a few weeks of lockdown: My son was happy.
Izac, my lanky, serious-faced 15-year-old who runs cross-country and listens to Kendrick Lamar, has A.D.H.D. He’s never been disruptive — he’s more the dreamy, nose-in-a-book type who likes a calm environment and a limited schedule. Sadly, he’s rarely had that. But while my husband and I knew the pressure of a traditional school day could be challenging for him, we didn’t realize exactly how miserable he was.
It felt like he started breathing again the day in-person school was canceled. He started smiling again. This happiness was profound.
We are not the only family experiencing this. Yes, students across the country are complaining that they miss seeing their friends, and many parents are struggling with the unsustainable arrangement that is working from home while supervising virtual learning. But amid all this, there’s also a group of kids who, whether because of bullying, mental health issues or simple overscheduling and pressure, struggled at school in a way that’s been made undeniable by the way they’re thriving at home amid the pandemic. Parents like me are having to contemplate whether traditional school — a staple of American childhood — in fact hurts our children.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/10/opin ... 778d3e6de3
Parenting Teens & Beyond: How to Make Difficult Conversations into Empowering Ones
A discussion on how parents can engage in difficult conversations with teens and young adults to strengthen their relationships.
Video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBxBUXsEeGI
A discussion on how parents can engage in difficult conversations with teens and young adults to strengthen their relationships.
Video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBxBUXsEeGI
Parent-Child relationship: physical contact in the first years of life
Today we share with you the first article of the Parent-Child Relationship, written by Karima Juma, which talks about the importance of physical contact and touch in the first years of a child's life.
For babies and young children touch is more powerful than any words!
Human beings crave touch. Sharing physical contact in appropriate ways shows respect towards one another, builds positive relationships, trust and opens up the doors for deep connections and honest communication between parents and children. Massaging an infant proves to be very soothing, reduces crying and fussiness, alleviates constipations and colic’s and helps the baby to sleep more peacefully. The effects of such massages are immediate and they last over time.
When we set aside 15 minutes regularly to massage and bond with our baby or infant we are actually setting aside time to fully love and better understand this new person that will be in our care for many years to come.
The human skin is the largest sensory organ directly connected to our nervous system. It has about 5 million receptors, and when touched or pressured, an electrical signal is sent through neurons connecting the spine to the brain. The function of these receptors is to protect and depending on the sign received the body will recoil or relax. Therefore, when touched/pressured in a positive and respectful ways it induces an increase in serotonin. Serotonin is our body’s primary mood-stabilizing hormone (feel good hormone), so an increase in such chemical regulates the heart rate and breathing to a state of relaxation in the baby/person.
The power of nurturing touch creates a sense of trust and closeness which are very important ingredients in the development of a balanced child in all aspects. Although nurturing touch can be given from birth, some babies may find formal, structured massage too stimulating in the very early weeks. It is usually recommended to start massaging your baby once he/she is about six weeks old and when their daily routines are more settled, and their behaviour is more predictable. There are classes and workshops, with trained instructors that parents can attend to learn some strokes, otherwise you can just follow your intuition and be observant of your baby’s reaction.
Some helpful tips to consider when applying nurturing touch to your baby at home:
- Pick a time during the day when your baby is content and alert, and interested in what’s going on around them. This makes it more likely that they’ll be ready to interact with you.
- Find a comfortable spot: on the floor, bed or sofa, with your baby safely on a towel in front of you.
- Find a position that’s comfortable, gives you good eye contact with no overhead lights and where your baby is warm.
- You may decide if your child is diaper-free, but it can help to at least loosen their diaper when massaging the tummy.
- It can be a nice idea to introduce a massage after bath and before bed as part of a bedtime wind-down.
Massages are beneficial not only for babies and infants but also for toddlers and older children. For older kids’ parents have reported an improvement in their child’s concentration as well as a more relaxed approach when it comes to tackling tasks, such as homework. Parents have also noticed better relationship between siblings and parents because it is an activity that can be enjoyed as a family.
As mentioned above, the effects last a life time and babies who have been brought up with positive touch, later in life often share enjoyable and more meaningful connections with their parents because their brain has already registered these positive circuits and sensations.
If you would like to know more about massage for older children ages 4 to 12 years please visit the website https://massageinschools.com/misa/
“The vision of the Massage in Schools Program is that every child attending school experience positive and nurturing touch every day…everywhere in the world.”
By Karima Juma, certified nurturing touch instructor
References:
https://www.nct.org.uk/baby-toddler/eve ... -tips-and-...
https://massageinschools.com/misa/
https://www.parents.com/baby/care/newbo ... y-massage/
https://the.ismaili/portugal/parent-chi ... years-life
Today we share with you the first article of the Parent-Child Relationship, written by Karima Juma, which talks about the importance of physical contact and touch in the first years of a child's life.
For babies and young children touch is more powerful than any words!
Human beings crave touch. Sharing physical contact in appropriate ways shows respect towards one another, builds positive relationships, trust and opens up the doors for deep connections and honest communication between parents and children. Massaging an infant proves to be very soothing, reduces crying and fussiness, alleviates constipations and colic’s and helps the baby to sleep more peacefully. The effects of such massages are immediate and they last over time.
When we set aside 15 minutes regularly to massage and bond with our baby or infant we are actually setting aside time to fully love and better understand this new person that will be in our care for many years to come.
The human skin is the largest sensory organ directly connected to our nervous system. It has about 5 million receptors, and when touched or pressured, an electrical signal is sent through neurons connecting the spine to the brain. The function of these receptors is to protect and depending on the sign received the body will recoil or relax. Therefore, when touched/pressured in a positive and respectful ways it induces an increase in serotonin. Serotonin is our body’s primary mood-stabilizing hormone (feel good hormone), so an increase in such chemical regulates the heart rate and breathing to a state of relaxation in the baby/person.
The power of nurturing touch creates a sense of trust and closeness which are very important ingredients in the development of a balanced child in all aspects. Although nurturing touch can be given from birth, some babies may find formal, structured massage too stimulating in the very early weeks. It is usually recommended to start massaging your baby once he/she is about six weeks old and when their daily routines are more settled, and their behaviour is more predictable. There are classes and workshops, with trained instructors that parents can attend to learn some strokes, otherwise you can just follow your intuition and be observant of your baby’s reaction.
Some helpful tips to consider when applying nurturing touch to your baby at home:
- Pick a time during the day when your baby is content and alert, and interested in what’s going on around them. This makes it more likely that they’ll be ready to interact with you.
- Find a comfortable spot: on the floor, bed or sofa, with your baby safely on a towel in front of you.
- Find a position that’s comfortable, gives you good eye contact with no overhead lights and where your baby is warm.
- You may decide if your child is diaper-free, but it can help to at least loosen their diaper when massaging the tummy.
- It can be a nice idea to introduce a massage after bath and before bed as part of a bedtime wind-down.
Massages are beneficial not only for babies and infants but also for toddlers and older children. For older kids’ parents have reported an improvement in their child’s concentration as well as a more relaxed approach when it comes to tackling tasks, such as homework. Parents have also noticed better relationship between siblings and parents because it is an activity that can be enjoyed as a family.
As mentioned above, the effects last a life time and babies who have been brought up with positive touch, later in life often share enjoyable and more meaningful connections with their parents because their brain has already registered these positive circuits and sensations.
If you would like to know more about massage for older children ages 4 to 12 years please visit the website https://massageinschools.com/misa/
“The vision of the Massage in Schools Program is that every child attending school experience positive and nurturing touch every day…everywhere in the world.”
By Karima Juma, certified nurturing touch instructor
References:
https://www.nct.org.uk/baby-toddler/eve ... -tips-and-...
https://massageinschools.com/misa/
https://www.parents.com/baby/care/newbo ... y-massage/
https://the.ismaili/portugal/parent-chi ... years-life
Google translation of the original article in Portuguese:
https://the.ismaili/portugal/rela%C3%A7 ... %CC%81gico
Parent-Child Relationship: Security in the technological environment
Today we share with you the fourth article in the “Relação Pais-Filhos” section, written by Rita Fernandes, whose theme is related to security in the digital world.
Even considering all the advantages that can be found in technology, it is critical to take into account the less pleasant aspects of the digital world.
In this sense, it is important that parents know how to introduce it in a healthy way in the lives of the little ones. How to do it? Here are some important tips:
- Set time limits - set a maximum of one to two hours a day and at times that do not compromise sleep. As in everything in life, there must be a balance between the use of technological means and the establishment of relationships and the performance of activities outside the virtual environment;
- Taking care of security - the ideal is that until the age of ten, internet access should only be carried out in the presence of an adult. And from an early age there must be a lot of communication and make children aware of the reality of internet browsing, explaining the dangers of exposure and encouraging, for example, not to publish personal information, photos, videos, passwords, not talking to strangers. The use of equipment configured to block access to inappropriate content is also an alternative, essential to promote protection, as well as constant supervision regarding the execution of downloads and online purchases to avoid dubious advertisements / emails. It is important that the child understands that this attitude is a form of protection for him and not a punishment;
- Talking about cyberbullying - The evolution of digital media has also had an influence on culture and social behavior. This is reflected in the socialization of the younger strata who, through mobile phones or computers, easily socialize with colleagues. The advantage is clear: living with friends outside the classroom. Therefore, it is very pertinent to take into account situations such as Cyberbullying - violence practiced over the internet with the action aiming to attack, stalk, ridicule and / or harass the other. It is crucial to explain and instruct children to be discerning not to practice it and to report it if they see it.
In short, technology, when used correctly and safely, is a great ally for parents to guarantee their children a more complete development and adjusted to the reality in which the new generations are inserted.
We are increasingly aware that the mastery of technology and digital literacy are differentiating factors, and across all the professions of the future, so the sooner children start this learning the better prepared they will be for their professional career. And, in addition to parents being present on a day-to-day basis, it is important that they enroll their children in specific programming and robotics courses so that they receive guidance from professionals and enjoy even more what technology has to offer.
Rita Fernandes
Rita Fernandes has a degree in Economics and a Master's in Monetary and Financial Economics from the Higher Institute of Economics and Management (ISEG). She is managing partner of Happy Code do Lumiar ( www.facebook.com/happycodelumiar ) and mother of three children, all boys, between 3 and 12 years old.
https://the.ismaili/portugal/rela%C3%A7 ... %CC%81gico
Parent-Child Relationship: Security in the technological environment
Today we share with you the fourth article in the “Relação Pais-Filhos” section, written by Rita Fernandes, whose theme is related to security in the digital world.
Even considering all the advantages that can be found in technology, it is critical to take into account the less pleasant aspects of the digital world.
In this sense, it is important that parents know how to introduce it in a healthy way in the lives of the little ones. How to do it? Here are some important tips:
- Set time limits - set a maximum of one to two hours a day and at times that do not compromise sleep. As in everything in life, there must be a balance between the use of technological means and the establishment of relationships and the performance of activities outside the virtual environment;
- Taking care of security - the ideal is that until the age of ten, internet access should only be carried out in the presence of an adult. And from an early age there must be a lot of communication and make children aware of the reality of internet browsing, explaining the dangers of exposure and encouraging, for example, not to publish personal information, photos, videos, passwords, not talking to strangers. The use of equipment configured to block access to inappropriate content is also an alternative, essential to promote protection, as well as constant supervision regarding the execution of downloads and online purchases to avoid dubious advertisements / emails. It is important that the child understands that this attitude is a form of protection for him and not a punishment;
- Talking about cyberbullying - The evolution of digital media has also had an influence on culture and social behavior. This is reflected in the socialization of the younger strata who, through mobile phones or computers, easily socialize with colleagues. The advantage is clear: living with friends outside the classroom. Therefore, it is very pertinent to take into account situations such as Cyberbullying - violence practiced over the internet with the action aiming to attack, stalk, ridicule and / or harass the other. It is crucial to explain and instruct children to be discerning not to practice it and to report it if they see it.
In short, technology, when used correctly and safely, is a great ally for parents to guarantee their children a more complete development and adjusted to the reality in which the new generations are inserted.
We are increasingly aware that the mastery of technology and digital literacy are differentiating factors, and across all the professions of the future, so the sooner children start this learning the better prepared they will be for their professional career. And, in addition to parents being present on a day-to-day basis, it is important that they enroll their children in specific programming and robotics courses so that they receive guidance from professionals and enjoy even more what technology has to offer.
Rita Fernandes
Rita Fernandes has a degree in Economics and a Master's in Monetary and Financial Economics from the Higher Institute of Economics and Management (ISEG). She is managing partner of Happy Code do Lumiar ( www.facebook.com/happycodelumiar ) and mother of three children, all boys, between 3 and 12 years old.
Google translation of the original article in Portuguese
Parent-Child Relationship: Overcoming 24 hours within four walls
Lunch at the fire, meeting at Zoom and one of the children asking to go to the bathroom - it is the picture that most Portuguese families are experiencing today. Desperate? No, we still have the strength and energy to get around! Let's restart?
We are experiencing a new and demanding situation at various levels. Teleworking and distance learning in addition to the domestic tasks, family activities and financial and family management that already existed: but where will the balance be?
First of all, let us be aware that we are all different and that each family lives its own dynamics, so there are few recipes. The considerations below may serve to find the much sought after balance, but no one better than the members of the family to unravel this challenge, arm in arm. Here are some strategies:
A. (Re) Organization! Reflect, plan, execute and evaluate. Repeat. Yes, it may seem far-fetched, but, after all, this is a thorny situation and it is better to put everything we know into practice! Organizing each one's work / study spaces is extremely important. Organizing how time is used by each family member, with daily plans, pairing older and younger, helps to manage anxiety and prevent unforeseen events. Moderating working time to make space for leisure is crucial to maintaining everyone's good energy.
Tips:
- Don't forget that the little ones really need free play, whether alone or with others.
- Plan the moments of leisure and practice of faith.
- Remember that we are more productive in the morning, so you can use that to your advantage when planning your day.
B. Flexibility and Autonomy. Sometimes, we will have to do the handstand, yes. You may be able to think about compensating for work after hours (as long as it does not harm mental health), but that is not all that will require some gymnastics. Show yourself open to everyone's suggestions, this will bring motivation and tranquility in carrying out the activities. You can also change the plan if the motivation starts to fade. Reach a consensus and everyone will be more satisfied. Reflect on the various moments of the day to create greater autonomy in the performance of tasks by the various family members. Yes, we can! Rethinking some household chores can also be helpful in order to take less time out of our day.
Tips:
- Adjust the tasks to the characteristics of each one, such as tasks with greater physical demands for those who are more energetic or allow some academic tasks to be done standing up by the most restless.
- Cooking in larger quantities and freezing a portion is useful for days of greater stress.
- Leave children's snacks at hand, so that they are autonomous for breakfast and snack.
C. Responsibility… Well-defined rules, limits and responsibilities will allow you to better see the way forward. My space and yours, my time to work / rest and yours, the tasks under my responsibility and yours - agreeing on these and other topics is essential for the machine to be well oiled. Will household chores be left to adults alone? Well, let's delegate, everyone can do what they can and, thus, everyone contributes and removes some weight from adults.
D. Communication (effective, of course). Family meeting! None of this is of value if it is not agreed upon by everyone. In fact, if the plan is for the family, everyone must have a voice. And if something is not to someone's liking, or if it doesn't work as expected, the communication will benefit from the readjustment of said plan.
E. Rest is essential. Yes, we need to take care of ourselves and relationships. In fact, being 24 out of 24 with the same people, always following the same routine, becomes exhausting, so take breaks, take turns and be inventive. Creativity is the key! How about starting the day with a mini stretching session? Why not create museum sunday, with the whole family excited to watch a virtual visit and do a scientific experiment next? Or plan 20 minutes a day to be alone, relax and revitalize your body and mind? Easy, isn't it? Not at all! But we will get there. With challenge, comes change. And change can become an opportunity for us to be better. We all know that the human being is endowed with a fantastic ability called “waist game” or “juggling” ( for slang speakers), but until we get stability, it takes time. We are fully aware that we do our utmost and success comes after attempts (some unfortunate). Balls will roll across the floor, but, as the other says: Resist, Insist, Persist. Let's restart!
By Soraia Juma
About the author: Soraia Juma is a member of the Aga Khan Education Board for Portugal, mother of 2 ants, graduated in Psychomotor Rehabilitation and Master in Early Childhood Education The Aga Khan Education Board invites you to share questions, comments, ideas or proposals for topics to be addressed at
https://the.ismaili/portugal/rela%C3%A7 ... ro-paredes
Parent-Child Relationship: Overcoming 24 hours within four walls
Lunch at the fire, meeting at Zoom and one of the children asking to go to the bathroom - it is the picture that most Portuguese families are experiencing today. Desperate? No, we still have the strength and energy to get around! Let's restart?
We are experiencing a new and demanding situation at various levels. Teleworking and distance learning in addition to the domestic tasks, family activities and financial and family management that already existed: but where will the balance be?
First of all, let us be aware that we are all different and that each family lives its own dynamics, so there are few recipes. The considerations below may serve to find the much sought after balance, but no one better than the members of the family to unravel this challenge, arm in arm. Here are some strategies:
A. (Re) Organization! Reflect, plan, execute and evaluate. Repeat. Yes, it may seem far-fetched, but, after all, this is a thorny situation and it is better to put everything we know into practice! Organizing each one's work / study spaces is extremely important. Organizing how time is used by each family member, with daily plans, pairing older and younger, helps to manage anxiety and prevent unforeseen events. Moderating working time to make space for leisure is crucial to maintaining everyone's good energy.
Tips:
- Don't forget that the little ones really need free play, whether alone or with others.
- Plan the moments of leisure and practice of faith.
- Remember that we are more productive in the morning, so you can use that to your advantage when planning your day.
B. Flexibility and Autonomy. Sometimes, we will have to do the handstand, yes. You may be able to think about compensating for work after hours (as long as it does not harm mental health), but that is not all that will require some gymnastics. Show yourself open to everyone's suggestions, this will bring motivation and tranquility in carrying out the activities. You can also change the plan if the motivation starts to fade. Reach a consensus and everyone will be more satisfied. Reflect on the various moments of the day to create greater autonomy in the performance of tasks by the various family members. Yes, we can! Rethinking some household chores can also be helpful in order to take less time out of our day.
Tips:
- Adjust the tasks to the characteristics of each one, such as tasks with greater physical demands for those who are more energetic or allow some academic tasks to be done standing up by the most restless.
- Cooking in larger quantities and freezing a portion is useful for days of greater stress.
- Leave children's snacks at hand, so that they are autonomous for breakfast and snack.
C. Responsibility… Well-defined rules, limits and responsibilities will allow you to better see the way forward. My space and yours, my time to work / rest and yours, the tasks under my responsibility and yours - agreeing on these and other topics is essential for the machine to be well oiled. Will household chores be left to adults alone? Well, let's delegate, everyone can do what they can and, thus, everyone contributes and removes some weight from adults.
D. Communication (effective, of course). Family meeting! None of this is of value if it is not agreed upon by everyone. In fact, if the plan is for the family, everyone must have a voice. And if something is not to someone's liking, or if it doesn't work as expected, the communication will benefit from the readjustment of said plan.
E. Rest is essential. Yes, we need to take care of ourselves and relationships. In fact, being 24 out of 24 with the same people, always following the same routine, becomes exhausting, so take breaks, take turns and be inventive. Creativity is the key! How about starting the day with a mini stretching session? Why not create museum sunday, with the whole family excited to watch a virtual visit and do a scientific experiment next? Or plan 20 minutes a day to be alone, relax and revitalize your body and mind? Easy, isn't it? Not at all! But we will get there. With challenge, comes change. And change can become an opportunity for us to be better. We all know that the human being is endowed with a fantastic ability called “waist game” or “juggling” ( for slang speakers), but until we get stability, it takes time. We are fully aware that we do our utmost and success comes after attempts (some unfortunate). Balls will roll across the floor, but, as the other says: Resist, Insist, Persist. Let's restart!
By Soraia Juma
About the author: Soraia Juma is a member of the Aga Khan Education Board for Portugal, mother of 2 ants, graduated in Psychomotor Rehabilitation and Master in Early Childhood Education The Aga Khan Education Board invites you to share questions, comments, ideas or proposals for topics to be addressed at
https://the.ismaili/portugal/rela%C3%A7 ... ro-paredes
Your Kids Aren’t Too Old for Picture Books, and Neither Are You
These are the real wizards of the literary world.
“My kid has outgrown picture books.”
I hear this often when enthusing about a new picture book and offering to pass one along to a friend. It’s the kind of thing parents will say with a certain amount of pride because of what it implies: My child is now reading independently and no longer requires the crutch of pictures. Just as he once relinquished the binky, he has moved on.
I hear this and I think, “Poor kid,” and also, “Poor parent.” Nobody moves on from picture books. At least, nobody should.
While children’s books are, on the whole, often scorned by the literary world as not altogether serious, perhaps no format is treated with the same dismissiveness as picture books. Even board books are respected at the very least as convenient chew toys, and chapter books look enough like novels to constitute a respectable gateway to true literature. But picture books seem like a transitory phase, suitable for a sleepy bedtime read-aloud or the shushed classroom break of story time, but hardly worthy of consideration on their own.
Most picture books are recommended for kids ages 4 to 8. That’s already too narrow. But picture books are tossed out even faster since many schools expect kids to read by the end of kindergarten. Because so many parents like to think of our kids as progressing and developing new skills, we allow picture books to fall away by the time kids are sounding out their Dr. Seuss.
Don’t let this happen.
First, appreciate what picture books, the real wizards of the literary world, do. With remarkable economy, they excel at the twin arts of visual and textual storytelling. Anyone who has ever read a picture book to a child has witnessed this magic firsthand. You’ll be reading along aloud and the child will laugh, not at anything you’ve read but at something she has read in the pictures. While you are reading one story, told in words, she is reading another, told through art. The illustrator doesn’t merely reflect the words on the page; she creates an entire narrative of her own, adding details, creating secondary story lines.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/20/opin ... 778d3e6de3
These are the real wizards of the literary world.
“My kid has outgrown picture books.”
I hear this often when enthusing about a new picture book and offering to pass one along to a friend. It’s the kind of thing parents will say with a certain amount of pride because of what it implies: My child is now reading independently and no longer requires the crutch of pictures. Just as he once relinquished the binky, he has moved on.
I hear this and I think, “Poor kid,” and also, “Poor parent.” Nobody moves on from picture books. At least, nobody should.
While children’s books are, on the whole, often scorned by the literary world as not altogether serious, perhaps no format is treated with the same dismissiveness as picture books. Even board books are respected at the very least as convenient chew toys, and chapter books look enough like novels to constitute a respectable gateway to true literature. But picture books seem like a transitory phase, suitable for a sleepy bedtime read-aloud or the shushed classroom break of story time, but hardly worthy of consideration on their own.
Most picture books are recommended for kids ages 4 to 8. That’s already too narrow. But picture books are tossed out even faster since many schools expect kids to read by the end of kindergarten. Because so many parents like to think of our kids as progressing and developing new skills, we allow picture books to fall away by the time kids are sounding out their Dr. Seuss.
Don’t let this happen.
First, appreciate what picture books, the real wizards of the literary world, do. With remarkable economy, they excel at the twin arts of visual and textual storytelling. Anyone who has ever read a picture book to a child has witnessed this magic firsthand. You’ll be reading along aloud and the child will laugh, not at anything you’ve read but at something she has read in the pictures. While you are reading one story, told in words, she is reading another, told through art. The illustrator doesn’t merely reflect the words on the page; she creates an entire narrative of her own, adding details, creating secondary story lines.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/20/opin ... 778d3e6de3
Children's story: A new year and a new beginning
Today we share a story about two children, Nargis and Aziz, who celebrate the festival of Navroz with their family. Parents and grandparents may wish to read this story with children, whether in person or over a video call.
Every year, we celebrate special festivals with our Jamat. On these days, we pray and recite devotional poetry. We give special greetings to our brothers and sisters in the Jamat, and we share with them the happiness of the festivals.
One of the festivals that we celebrate with the Jamat is Navroz. It usually falls on the 21st of March every year and marks the beginning of the Persian new year. It is also the time when spring begins in many countries.
Navroz is a time when we welcome the new year. We make a fresh start in our lives, just like new leaves, buds and flowers in spring. We look forward to the new year with the hope that it will be a happy one. The story that follows is about two children, Nargis and her brother Aziz, during the festival of Navroz.
Only one day remains before Navroz. Everyone is very busy in the home. Nargis and Aziz’s parents return home from the shops carrying presents for the children.
story_1.jpg
Nargis is making pastry in the kitchen. Next to him is Aziz, placing eggs in a bowl of coloured water. The family have been getting ready for Navroz for many weeks, and at last everything is finished. Now comes the part the children love best.
Mum and Dad place on the table seven things that begin with the letter “s” in Persian: apples, garlic, vinegar, coins, hyacinths, a sweet dish made of wheat, and a plate filled with green shoots of wheat.
Nargis arranges some eggs on a mirror, next to a bowl with goldfish. All these things are thought to bring good luck and happiness in the new year.
story_2.jpg
The day of Navroz arrives. It is bright and sunny, with not a cloud in the sky. The birds are singing, and the buds on the almond trees have just blossomed.
The moment comes when the old year ends and the new one begins. At this time, many families offer prayers and recite devotional poetry.
On Navroz day in Iran, people greet each other by saying “Eid-e shoma mobarak!” which means, “May your festival be blessed!” In parts of Afghanistan and Tajikistan, they say “Shogun Bahor Mubarak!” to convey happy and special greetings for springtime.
story_3.jpg
Later in the day, a big surprise awaits Nargis and Aziz. Their parents have brought them each a gift: new clothes and shoes that they have always wanted.
The children are delighted and hug their parents. It is time to have the first meal of the new year. There is sweet pastry, lamb, chicken, rice with saffron and herbs, and fresh fruit. Everyone has a hearty meal.
story_4.jpg
Some days later, the family go for a picnic.
Nargis says, “You know, Mum and Dad, I’ll miss the old year for some of the wonderful things that happened. We visited some new places for the first time, and I met my cousins. But some sad things happened as well. My best friend moved to another school.”
They smile at Nargis. “Inshallah, this new year will bring blessings for all of us”, he says. “And it may bring many nice surprises.”
--
This story has been adapted from Festivals and Celebrations - Ta’lim primary three, book two, published by The Institute of Ismaili Studies.
https://the.ismaili/global/our-communit ... -beginning
Today we share a story about two children, Nargis and Aziz, who celebrate the festival of Navroz with their family. Parents and grandparents may wish to read this story with children, whether in person or over a video call.
Every year, we celebrate special festivals with our Jamat. On these days, we pray and recite devotional poetry. We give special greetings to our brothers and sisters in the Jamat, and we share with them the happiness of the festivals.
One of the festivals that we celebrate with the Jamat is Navroz. It usually falls on the 21st of March every year and marks the beginning of the Persian new year. It is also the time when spring begins in many countries.
Navroz is a time when we welcome the new year. We make a fresh start in our lives, just like new leaves, buds and flowers in spring. We look forward to the new year with the hope that it will be a happy one. The story that follows is about two children, Nargis and her brother Aziz, during the festival of Navroz.
Only one day remains before Navroz. Everyone is very busy in the home. Nargis and Aziz’s parents return home from the shops carrying presents for the children.
story_1.jpg
Nargis is making pastry in the kitchen. Next to him is Aziz, placing eggs in a bowl of coloured water. The family have been getting ready for Navroz for many weeks, and at last everything is finished. Now comes the part the children love best.
Mum and Dad place on the table seven things that begin with the letter “s” in Persian: apples, garlic, vinegar, coins, hyacinths, a sweet dish made of wheat, and a plate filled with green shoots of wheat.
Nargis arranges some eggs on a mirror, next to a bowl with goldfish. All these things are thought to bring good luck and happiness in the new year.
story_2.jpg
The day of Navroz arrives. It is bright and sunny, with not a cloud in the sky. The birds are singing, and the buds on the almond trees have just blossomed.
The moment comes when the old year ends and the new one begins. At this time, many families offer prayers and recite devotional poetry.
On Navroz day in Iran, people greet each other by saying “Eid-e shoma mobarak!” which means, “May your festival be blessed!” In parts of Afghanistan and Tajikistan, they say “Shogun Bahor Mubarak!” to convey happy and special greetings for springtime.
story_3.jpg
Later in the day, a big surprise awaits Nargis and Aziz. Their parents have brought them each a gift: new clothes and shoes that they have always wanted.
The children are delighted and hug their parents. It is time to have the first meal of the new year. There is sweet pastry, lamb, chicken, rice with saffron and herbs, and fresh fruit. Everyone has a hearty meal.
story_4.jpg
Some days later, the family go for a picnic.
Nargis says, “You know, Mum and Dad, I’ll miss the old year for some of the wonderful things that happened. We visited some new places for the first time, and I met my cousins. But some sad things happened as well. My best friend moved to another school.”
They smile at Nargis. “Inshallah, this new year will bring blessings for all of us”, he says. “And it may bring many nice surprises.”
--
This story has been adapted from Festivals and Celebrations - Ta’lim primary three, book two, published by The Institute of Ismaili Studies.
https://the.ismaili/global/our-communit ... -beginning
Review: webinar “Child Mental Health - Challenges”
On the 7th of April, the webinar “Child Mental Health - Challenges” took place, promoted by the Aga Khan Health Board and the Aga Khan Education Board, whose guest speaker was Dr. Tiago Vinhas de Sousa, psychiatrist and clinical director of the Clinic Nostra. If you haven't had a chance to watch it live, watch the recording now.
This webinar aimed to raise the awareness of parents and / or guardians, in order to enable them to detect and understand warning signs, at the level of mental health, that are manifested in children.
If you did not have the opportunity to attend the webinar, you can access your recording here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCDi0lGR5T4.
On the 7th of April, the webinar “Child Mental Health - Challenges” took place, promoted by the Aga Khan Health Board and the Aga Khan Education Board, whose guest speaker was Dr. Tiago Vinhas de Sousa, psychiatrist and clinical director of the Clinic Nostra. If you haven't had a chance to watch it live, watch the recording now.
This webinar aimed to raise the awareness of parents and / or guardians, in order to enable them to detect and understand warning signs, at the level of mental health, that are manifested in children.
If you did not have the opportunity to attend the webinar, you can access your recording here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCDi0lGR5T4.
Google translation of the original article in Portuguese:
https://the.ismaili/portugal/rela%C3%A7 ... brinquedos
Parent-Child Relationship: Less is more when it comes to toys
Today we share with you the eleventh article in the rubric “Parent-Child Relationship”, written by Karima Juma, who tells us about the relationship between toys that a child has and its future implications.
Less is more when it comes to choosing children's toys. I am a minimalist by nature and a firm believer that less is more in many areas of life, but today I am focused on toys and this is usually my recommendation to parents with young children.
Toys play a vital role in children's lives. They teach children not only about the world around them, but also about themselves. The toys that children play with are the basis of their future life and can send subtle messages about the values that predominate in a family.
Therefore, choosing wisely and carefully is important for children. Wise parents often limit the number of toys their children can play with, and this is done intentionally because they understand the benefit of fewer toys in the long run:
1. Increases Creativity - when children are exposed to too many toys at the same time, it prevents them from fully developing their imagination. Strick and Schubert, two German scientists, conducted an experiment in which they asked to remove all toys in the classroom from a kindergarten classroom for three consecutive months. At first the children were bored but, shortly after the initial phase, it was found that the children used their basic environment to invent games and use their imagination in their play time.
Over the years of teaching classes in early childhood, I noticed that although the classroom was full of toys and extravagant and attractive materials, my students got involved easily and with greater results when I placed several cardboard boxes of different sizes outside the classroom. classroom. The children communicated among themselves for ideals and dedicated themselves to playing with planes, houses and swimming pools, tunnels and caves to pretend. They were using their muscles, they were more active, happier and more entertained, for hours, than I could ever imagine.
2. Increases attention span - when children are exposed to fewer toys, they are able to make the most of them, exploring countless options and different ways to play with the same toy.
3. Enriches social skills - fewer toys mean better interpersonal relationships with children and adults. They learn to spend more time in conversations and interactions with their peers. Statistics show that children's friendships are inextricably linked to academic success later in life and in social situations during adulthood. Children with positive relationships with other children tend to lead happier lives as adults.
4. Greater care when taking care of things - when they have less, they tend to take care of them more carefully because they know that they are damaged, they know that they do not have much to replace them with. On the contrary, when children have many toys to choose from, they often do not care if they are damaged or not, as they have a lot to choose from.
5. More time to read, write and art - less toys means love for books, music and painting. And a lover of art and music will be able to appreciate beauty and emotions beyond measure.
6. Children become more resourceful - fewer toys allow them to become resourceful, solving problems with materials limited by hand. Later in life, being resourceful is a gift with unlimited potential.
7. Less conflict - when siblings have many toys and tend to argue for them, each new toy means establishing territory between them. Siblings with less toys are more likely to share, collaborate and work together. These are the foundation for a successful team player, later in life.
8. Build perseverance, patience and determination - because they only have a limited number of toys, they will be more determined to find out how it works. When they have a lot and are faced with a toy that they cannot understand, they are more likely to give up and move on to the next one, which is easier to manage.
9. More time outdoors - to walk and explore in nature and to engage in physical activities, resulting in healthier lives and more active bodies.
10. Tidier homes - too many toys create confusion in a home and children are often unable to keep their toy rooms / rooms tidy. Fewer toys means that the child will most likely be willing to take responsibility for managing and cleaning the area because it is less cluttered and therefore healthier for the home.
I am not against toys, but I am in favor of child center approaches both in parenting as an educator and, in this perspective, less is more with greater results in life.
By Karima Juma
Reference: Joshua Becker author of “Less is more” and “The minimalist home”
About the author: Karima Juma is a former professor at IB and Montessori. She currently works as an educational consultant at international schools and as a parent educator. She is also a mindfulness instructor, guiding parents and children with different types of learning skills.
https://the.ismaili/portugal/rela%C3%A7 ... brinquedos
Parent-Child Relationship: Less is more when it comes to toys
Today we share with you the eleventh article in the rubric “Parent-Child Relationship”, written by Karima Juma, who tells us about the relationship between toys that a child has and its future implications.
Less is more when it comes to choosing children's toys. I am a minimalist by nature and a firm believer that less is more in many areas of life, but today I am focused on toys and this is usually my recommendation to parents with young children.
Toys play a vital role in children's lives. They teach children not only about the world around them, but also about themselves. The toys that children play with are the basis of their future life and can send subtle messages about the values that predominate in a family.
Therefore, choosing wisely and carefully is important for children. Wise parents often limit the number of toys their children can play with, and this is done intentionally because they understand the benefit of fewer toys in the long run:
1. Increases Creativity - when children are exposed to too many toys at the same time, it prevents them from fully developing their imagination. Strick and Schubert, two German scientists, conducted an experiment in which they asked to remove all toys in the classroom from a kindergarten classroom for three consecutive months. At first the children were bored but, shortly after the initial phase, it was found that the children used their basic environment to invent games and use their imagination in their play time.
Over the years of teaching classes in early childhood, I noticed that although the classroom was full of toys and extravagant and attractive materials, my students got involved easily and with greater results when I placed several cardboard boxes of different sizes outside the classroom. classroom. The children communicated among themselves for ideals and dedicated themselves to playing with planes, houses and swimming pools, tunnels and caves to pretend. They were using their muscles, they were more active, happier and more entertained, for hours, than I could ever imagine.
2. Increases attention span - when children are exposed to fewer toys, they are able to make the most of them, exploring countless options and different ways to play with the same toy.
3. Enriches social skills - fewer toys mean better interpersonal relationships with children and adults. They learn to spend more time in conversations and interactions with their peers. Statistics show that children's friendships are inextricably linked to academic success later in life and in social situations during adulthood. Children with positive relationships with other children tend to lead happier lives as adults.
4. Greater care when taking care of things - when they have less, they tend to take care of them more carefully because they know that they are damaged, they know that they do not have much to replace them with. On the contrary, when children have many toys to choose from, they often do not care if they are damaged or not, as they have a lot to choose from.
5. More time to read, write and art - less toys means love for books, music and painting. And a lover of art and music will be able to appreciate beauty and emotions beyond measure.
6. Children become more resourceful - fewer toys allow them to become resourceful, solving problems with materials limited by hand. Later in life, being resourceful is a gift with unlimited potential.
7. Less conflict - when siblings have many toys and tend to argue for them, each new toy means establishing territory between them. Siblings with less toys are more likely to share, collaborate and work together. These are the foundation for a successful team player, later in life.
8. Build perseverance, patience and determination - because they only have a limited number of toys, they will be more determined to find out how it works. When they have a lot and are faced with a toy that they cannot understand, they are more likely to give up and move on to the next one, which is easier to manage.
9. More time outdoors - to walk and explore in nature and to engage in physical activities, resulting in healthier lives and more active bodies.
10. Tidier homes - too many toys create confusion in a home and children are often unable to keep their toy rooms / rooms tidy. Fewer toys means that the child will most likely be willing to take responsibility for managing and cleaning the area because it is less cluttered and therefore healthier for the home.
I am not against toys, but I am in favor of child center approaches both in parenting as an educator and, in this perspective, less is more with greater results in life.
By Karima Juma
Reference: Joshua Becker author of “Less is more” and “The minimalist home”
About the author: Karima Juma is a former professor at IB and Montessori. She currently works as an educational consultant at international schools and as a parent educator. She is also a mindfulness instructor, guiding parents and children with different types of learning skills.
How to Raise Kids Who Won’t Be Racist
If race is largely a social construct, then teaching children about it will only perpetuate racism — right? Wrong: Studies show precisely the opposite. Open conversations about race and racism can make white children less prejudiced and can increase the self-esteem of children of color.
If states ban the teaching of critical race theory, as conservative lawmakers in many are attempting to do, or if schools don’t provide consistent education about racism and discrimination, it’s imperative that parents pick up the slack.
Even if we don’t want them to, children do notice differences in race and skin color. And that means that attempts to suppress discussions about race and racism are misguided. Those efforts won’t eliminate prejudice. They may, in fact, make it worse.
So-called colorblind parenting — avoiding the topic of race in an effort to raise children who aren’t prejudiced — is not just unhelpful, it actually perpetuates racism. That’s because racism isn’t driven solely by individual prejudice. It’s a system of inequity bolstered by racist laws and policies — the very fact that opponents of teaching critical race theory are trying to erase.
Some people, especially white people like me, may shy away from talking to their children about race, either because they’ve been socialized to treat the subject as taboo or because they fear that instilling an awareness of race is itself problematic. That’s a privilege that nonwhite families often don’t have — racism is a fact of life that many can’t ignore. While parents of white children may be able to choose if, when and how they have these conversations, parents of children of color often have no choice but to discuss the subject as it arises.
Parents may believe their children are too young to learn about topics like prejudice, discrimination and violence. But it’s possible — advisable, actually — to have age-appropriate conversations about race and racism throughout children’s lives, including when they are very young.
I asked more than 80 parents about how they think their children view race. Many said their children are oblivious to skin color. Yet research strongly contradicts this notion. Babies as young as 3 months old discern racial differences, and they prefer looking at faces that share their caregivers’ skin color.
Racial awareness and prejudice continue to develop during the preschool and grade school years. A 2012 study showed that many white parents of preschoolers believed that their children harbored no racial prejudice. When the researchers tested the children, though, some said they wouldn’t want Black friends.
Children learn from what they see. They notice that in American culture, race and power intersect in a clear way. Children may observe, for instance, that all but one president has been white, that many of the wealthiest people are white and that more working-class people are people of color.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/07/15/opin ... 778d3e6de3
If race is largely a social construct, then teaching children about it will only perpetuate racism — right? Wrong: Studies show precisely the opposite. Open conversations about race and racism can make white children less prejudiced and can increase the self-esteem of children of color.
If states ban the teaching of critical race theory, as conservative lawmakers in many are attempting to do, or if schools don’t provide consistent education about racism and discrimination, it’s imperative that parents pick up the slack.
Even if we don’t want them to, children do notice differences in race and skin color. And that means that attempts to suppress discussions about race and racism are misguided. Those efforts won’t eliminate prejudice. They may, in fact, make it worse.
So-called colorblind parenting — avoiding the topic of race in an effort to raise children who aren’t prejudiced — is not just unhelpful, it actually perpetuates racism. That’s because racism isn’t driven solely by individual prejudice. It’s a system of inequity bolstered by racist laws and policies — the very fact that opponents of teaching critical race theory are trying to erase.
Some people, especially white people like me, may shy away from talking to their children about race, either because they’ve been socialized to treat the subject as taboo or because they fear that instilling an awareness of race is itself problematic. That’s a privilege that nonwhite families often don’t have — racism is a fact of life that many can’t ignore. While parents of white children may be able to choose if, when and how they have these conversations, parents of children of color often have no choice but to discuss the subject as it arises.
Parents may believe their children are too young to learn about topics like prejudice, discrimination and violence. But it’s possible — advisable, actually — to have age-appropriate conversations about race and racism throughout children’s lives, including when they are very young.
I asked more than 80 parents about how they think their children view race. Many said their children are oblivious to skin color. Yet research strongly contradicts this notion. Babies as young as 3 months old discern racial differences, and they prefer looking at faces that share their caregivers’ skin color.
Racial awareness and prejudice continue to develop during the preschool and grade school years. A 2012 study showed that many white parents of preschoolers believed that their children harbored no racial prejudice. When the researchers tested the children, though, some said they wouldn’t want Black friends.
Children learn from what they see. They notice that in American culture, race and power intersect in a clear way. Children may observe, for instance, that all but one president has been white, that many of the wealthiest people are white and that more working-class people are people of color.
More...
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/07/15/opin ... 778d3e6de3
Re: Parenting Issues
How Should a Modern-Day Father Be?
On a work day in Midtown Manhattan, dads attended an event about the future of fatherhood. (It was organized by moms.)
Representative Jimmy Gomez, Chasten Buttigieg and Molly Day, chief operating officer of Moms First, the group that put on “The Future of Fatherhood” summit this month.Credit...Colin Clark for The New York Times
Alisha Haridasani Gupta
By Alisha Haridasani Gupta
June 14, 2025
“I know that you’re all probably thinking, ‘Why the heck is Moms First throwing a fatherhood summit?’” Reshma Saujani, the chief executive and founder of that organization, said to a crowd of fathers, and yes, some mothers, seated in an auditorium.
It was a nod to a question that arose on social media when the advocacy group started promoting the event, an afternoon of talks and workshops under the banner “The Future of Fatherhood.” “People in our community were like ‘Really? We’ve got to do this too? We’ve got to fix it for men?’” Ms. Saujani said later in an interview. “And I get it, we’re exhausted.”
But considering the vastness of the issues that she and her organization care about — child care and paid leave, for instance — Ms. Saujani believes they can’t be fixed without “fathers at the table.”
It was around lunchtime on a balmy Thursday in early June, and this group of men had gathered at the proverbial table — in this case a conference center in Midtown — to discuss all things fatherhood. There were first-time dads, dad influencers, podcaster dads, dads who run dad communities and famous dads, like Chasten Buttigieg, the husband of former Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg, and Gary Vaynerchuk, the entrepreneur better known as Gary Vee.
“If this event would have happened 15 to 20 years ago, it would have been like, how can dads support moms?” Matt Schneider, founder of the nonprofit City Dads Group, a panelist and a stay-at-home dad of two teenagers, said in an interview. “It used to be dads were ready to follow a to-do list.”
Image
Matt Schneider, in a tan suit jacket, embraced Scott Leach, in a dark suit jacket, in a conference hall.
Matt Schneider, the founder of the nonprofit City Dads Group, embraced Scott Leach, director of a fatherhood program at the NYC Department of Youth & Community Development.Credit...Colin Clark for The New York Times
Image
Audience members seated in red chairs.
The audience a the summit included some moms, too.Credit...Colin Clark for The New York Times
At least at this conference, in this corner of New York City, the dads onstage and off offered a glimpse of a particular zeitgeist shift, one in which dads not only challenge the idea of moms as default parents but are so earnest about fatherhood that they were eager to buy tickets and spend four discourse-heavy hours discussing its many different facets. When asked by a panelist who in the room had taken paid parental leave, many of the (mostly heterosexual, partnered) men raised their hands. (Though the event was held in the Times Center, it was not affiliated with The New York Times.)
Anecdotally, the stereotype of “dads as buffoons” isn’t really rooted in reality anymore, Mr. Schneider said.
Some of that bears out in the data, too. Research suggests that more dads are using their paid leave after the birth of their first child compared with three decades ago. About one in five dads are now stay-at-home parents, and though an overwhelming share of the unpaid, unglamorous labor of housework and child care is still done by mothers, many fathers are doing more than their fathers had done.
As these men begin to play a more active domestic role, they are also trying to redefine fatherhood. They’re gathering in group texts and hosting I.R.L. meet-ups, like the Brooklyn Stroll Club, a walking club for young dads. They’re versed in the wonky universe of parenting advice, throwing around phrases like “cycle breaking” and “mental load” with ease, and they are wrestling with how this new social identity squares with cultural concepts of masculinity.
The afternoon’s speakers touched on lightning rod issues in the national discourse, including boys’ declining mental health, the rise of “toxic masculinity” and pronatalism and, as Mr. Buttigieg put it, the politicization of parenting. They discussed how to model emotional vulnerability, nurture empathy, compassion and emotional resilience in young boys — a set of concerns that largely belongs to those who lean left, as many of the event’s attendees did.
Representative Jimmy Gomez, Democrat of California, who two years ago stole the spotlight when he cast a vote on the House floor with his fussing 4-month-old son strapped to his chest, was among them. Even in the halls of Congress, he told the crowd, he has noticed a culture shift: When he started the Congressional Dads Caucus in 2023, it had six members, he said. Today it has 46.
Image
Mr. Gomez and Mr. Buttigieg take a selfie in front of a backdrop that says “Moms First.”
Mr. Gomez and Mr. Buttigieg took a selfie between sessions.Credit...Colin Clark for The New York Times
Image
Jonathan Haidt, wearing a light button-down, cream trousers and black shoes, in a midcentury modern chair onstage talking.
The social psychologist Jonathan Haidt during his session “The Challenges of Modern Boyhood.”Credit...Colin Clark for The New York Times
Some speakers seemed to make efforts to show today’s fathers that they did not have to shed any of their more traditionally masculine interests or behaviors to fit into the conversation. Mr. Vaynerchuk sprinkled his talk with banter about the Knicks, who had just lost the playoffs. Another, the social psychologist Jonathan Haidt, emphasized that dads brought something crucial to the development of their children: rough and tumble play.
The Mom’s First organization started brainstorming the idea for the conference after the presidential inauguration in January, Ms. Saujani said. When it came time to raise funding, the White House had cut federal funding for diversity and equity initiatives across the country and targeted companies with D.E.I. policies. As a result, “a lot of people were pivoting their dollars away from women’s event,” Ms. Saujani said, and an event focused on men seemed like an easier sell.
Backstage in the green room, some speakers exchanged parenting tips. “I’m just too much of a chicken so far to do any version of the ‘cry it out’ sleep-training thing,” said Brian Hellman, senior researcher at the Movember Institute of Men’s Health. Others loitered around a glam station, wondering if they needed a touch-up.
“The hardest thing for us in planning this event was figuring out, like, what do we do about the swag?” Ms. Saujani said. They thought of having hats or sweatshirts with slogans like “Working Dad” or “Great Dad” or “Dad Enough.” They asked ChatGPT for some suggestions, too.
Image
A group of women in pantsuits and business casual wear walking down a conference hall.
Reshma Saujani, the chief executive and founder of Moms First, center, wore a necktie for the occasion that one of the dads helped her tie.Credit...Colin Clark for The New York Times
Language around celebrating fatherhood that didn’t sound pat or cringe didn’t seem to exist, Ms. Saujani lamented. (In the end, speakers went home with a gray crew neck sweater with just the Mom’s First logo, and audience members received trucker hats with the same logo.)
Outside the auditorium, by a counter of free snacks and drinks, the audience mingled, chatting about how they juggled work and parenting and bonded over a shared concern of not having many spaces like this — the kinds of communities that moms have, where they can ask one another questions or just hang out as dads.
Between sessions, Kojo Dufu, a former investment banker who now works at an A.I. start-up, received a text from his teenage daughter saying she had aced her math test. He waved his fist in the air in celebration.
“I was traveling this weekend and normally I would spend the weekend prepping her. But because I just wasn’t here, I assigned her a bunch of work on Thursday before I left, and hoped that she would do it,” Mr. Dufu, 51, said. “I was basically grading her work on the flight and sending feedback until I got back Sunday night.”
Nearby, Kevin Seldon, a podcast host, had flown in from Culver City, Calif., for the event.
At home, Mr. Seldon said he took on more of the caregiving responsibilities for their 6-year-old son than his wife, who leads communications at a large ad agency. “I put him to bed almost every night of his life,” he said. “Me coming to New York for this conference was a big deal — this is her first week alone with him.”
Image
Kevin Seldon, wearing a button-down shirt and a lanyard.
Kevin Seldon, the host of the podcast “DILF (Dad I’d Like to Friend), which he started when he felt isolated and alone during his first year of parenting.Credit...Colin Clark for The New York Times
Mr. Seldon took extended leave and stayed home for the first year of his son’s life. “Throughout that year, I was extremely lonely — couldn’t find friends, couldn’t find any support,” he said. That’s what prompted him in 2020 to start his show, “DILF (Dad I’d Like to Friend),” which quickly climbed parenting podcast charts. “I realized, Oh, there’s a need for this.”
In April, he set up a WhatsApp chat group for dads. Already, about 1,500 have joined, he said, and local groups have formed in cities including Chicago, New York and San Francisco.
“And then we also have worldwide groups like new dads, sober dads, dads of kids with disabilities, stay at home dads,” he added. One dad, in the sober dads group, was having a rough time a few days ago and another member of the group made him a Spotify playlist to cheer him up, Mr. Seldon recalled.
In another corner of the auditorium, two dads snacked on some chips and an energy bar. “We were just joking the other day about like, ‘Hey, remember when we weren’t dads and we had friends?’” said Nathan Ie, a father to a 3-year old son. He had taken time off from his job as a tech entrepreneur in New York to attend the conference with his friend Daniel Weisberg, a doctor who has 3-year-old twins.
After a day of work, “it’s usually home, bath time, dinner, dishes,” Mr. Ie, 43, said, leaving him and his wife little space for anything or anyone else. Dr. Weisberg, 39, nodded in agreement. It was Dr. Weisberg’s wife who had sent them the social media posts about the event and encouraged them both to get tickets.
Image
Nathan Ie holding a canned drink and smiling.
Nathan Ie and his friend Daniel Weisberg attended the event at the encouragement of Dr. Weisberg’s wife.Credit...Colin Clark for The New York Times
Image
Beck Kennedy wearing a tan dress and matching heels.
Dr. Becky Kennedy was a big draw for some dads. She gave a talk titled “Raising Boys and Ourselves.”Credit...Colin Clark for The New York Times
The big draw for Mr. Ie, he said, was the conversation with Dr. Becky Kennedy, the psychologist and parenting influencer with a cult, largely millennial, following.
Dr. Weisberg was taking notes on his phone throughout the afternoon, he said, jotting down takeaways and parenting hacks. He and his wife, the founder of a women’s health start-up, have “a partnership that doesn’t have a ‘default parent,’” he said, because “both of us have demanding careers.”
“We’re trying to figure it out as we go,” he added, ducking out of the conference hall a little early to go pick up his children from preschool.
Alisha Haridasani Gupta is a Times reporter covering women’s health and health inequities.
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/14/styl ... e9677ea768
On a work day in Midtown Manhattan, dads attended an event about the future of fatherhood. (It was organized by moms.)
Representative Jimmy Gomez, Chasten Buttigieg and Molly Day, chief operating officer of Moms First, the group that put on “The Future of Fatherhood” summit this month.Credit...Colin Clark for The New York Times
Alisha Haridasani Gupta
By Alisha Haridasani Gupta
June 14, 2025
“I know that you’re all probably thinking, ‘Why the heck is Moms First throwing a fatherhood summit?’” Reshma Saujani, the chief executive and founder of that organization, said to a crowd of fathers, and yes, some mothers, seated in an auditorium.
It was a nod to a question that arose on social media when the advocacy group started promoting the event, an afternoon of talks and workshops under the banner “The Future of Fatherhood.” “People in our community were like ‘Really? We’ve got to do this too? We’ve got to fix it for men?’” Ms. Saujani said later in an interview. “And I get it, we’re exhausted.”
But considering the vastness of the issues that she and her organization care about — child care and paid leave, for instance — Ms. Saujani believes they can’t be fixed without “fathers at the table.”
It was around lunchtime on a balmy Thursday in early June, and this group of men had gathered at the proverbial table — in this case a conference center in Midtown — to discuss all things fatherhood. There were first-time dads, dad influencers, podcaster dads, dads who run dad communities and famous dads, like Chasten Buttigieg, the husband of former Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg, and Gary Vaynerchuk, the entrepreneur better known as Gary Vee.
“If this event would have happened 15 to 20 years ago, it would have been like, how can dads support moms?” Matt Schneider, founder of the nonprofit City Dads Group, a panelist and a stay-at-home dad of two teenagers, said in an interview. “It used to be dads were ready to follow a to-do list.”
Image
Matt Schneider, in a tan suit jacket, embraced Scott Leach, in a dark suit jacket, in a conference hall.
Matt Schneider, the founder of the nonprofit City Dads Group, embraced Scott Leach, director of a fatherhood program at the NYC Department of Youth & Community Development.Credit...Colin Clark for The New York Times
Image
Audience members seated in red chairs.
The audience a the summit included some moms, too.Credit...Colin Clark for The New York Times
At least at this conference, in this corner of New York City, the dads onstage and off offered a glimpse of a particular zeitgeist shift, one in which dads not only challenge the idea of moms as default parents but are so earnest about fatherhood that they were eager to buy tickets and spend four discourse-heavy hours discussing its many different facets. When asked by a panelist who in the room had taken paid parental leave, many of the (mostly heterosexual, partnered) men raised their hands. (Though the event was held in the Times Center, it was not affiliated with The New York Times.)
Anecdotally, the stereotype of “dads as buffoons” isn’t really rooted in reality anymore, Mr. Schneider said.
Some of that bears out in the data, too. Research suggests that more dads are using their paid leave after the birth of their first child compared with three decades ago. About one in five dads are now stay-at-home parents, and though an overwhelming share of the unpaid, unglamorous labor of housework and child care is still done by mothers, many fathers are doing more than their fathers had done.
As these men begin to play a more active domestic role, they are also trying to redefine fatherhood. They’re gathering in group texts and hosting I.R.L. meet-ups, like the Brooklyn Stroll Club, a walking club for young dads. They’re versed in the wonky universe of parenting advice, throwing around phrases like “cycle breaking” and “mental load” with ease, and they are wrestling with how this new social identity squares with cultural concepts of masculinity.
The afternoon’s speakers touched on lightning rod issues in the national discourse, including boys’ declining mental health, the rise of “toxic masculinity” and pronatalism and, as Mr. Buttigieg put it, the politicization of parenting. They discussed how to model emotional vulnerability, nurture empathy, compassion and emotional resilience in young boys — a set of concerns that largely belongs to those who lean left, as many of the event’s attendees did.
Representative Jimmy Gomez, Democrat of California, who two years ago stole the spotlight when he cast a vote on the House floor with his fussing 4-month-old son strapped to his chest, was among them. Even in the halls of Congress, he told the crowd, he has noticed a culture shift: When he started the Congressional Dads Caucus in 2023, it had six members, he said. Today it has 46.
Image
Mr. Gomez and Mr. Buttigieg take a selfie in front of a backdrop that says “Moms First.”
Mr. Gomez and Mr. Buttigieg took a selfie between sessions.Credit...Colin Clark for The New York Times
Image
Jonathan Haidt, wearing a light button-down, cream trousers and black shoes, in a midcentury modern chair onstage talking.
The social psychologist Jonathan Haidt during his session “The Challenges of Modern Boyhood.”Credit...Colin Clark for The New York Times
Some speakers seemed to make efforts to show today’s fathers that they did not have to shed any of their more traditionally masculine interests or behaviors to fit into the conversation. Mr. Vaynerchuk sprinkled his talk with banter about the Knicks, who had just lost the playoffs. Another, the social psychologist Jonathan Haidt, emphasized that dads brought something crucial to the development of their children: rough and tumble play.
The Mom’s First organization started brainstorming the idea for the conference after the presidential inauguration in January, Ms. Saujani said. When it came time to raise funding, the White House had cut federal funding for diversity and equity initiatives across the country and targeted companies with D.E.I. policies. As a result, “a lot of people were pivoting their dollars away from women’s event,” Ms. Saujani said, and an event focused on men seemed like an easier sell.
Backstage in the green room, some speakers exchanged parenting tips. “I’m just too much of a chicken so far to do any version of the ‘cry it out’ sleep-training thing,” said Brian Hellman, senior researcher at the Movember Institute of Men’s Health. Others loitered around a glam station, wondering if they needed a touch-up.
“The hardest thing for us in planning this event was figuring out, like, what do we do about the swag?” Ms. Saujani said. They thought of having hats or sweatshirts with slogans like “Working Dad” or “Great Dad” or “Dad Enough.” They asked ChatGPT for some suggestions, too.
Image
A group of women in pantsuits and business casual wear walking down a conference hall.
Reshma Saujani, the chief executive and founder of Moms First, center, wore a necktie for the occasion that one of the dads helped her tie.Credit...Colin Clark for The New York Times
Language around celebrating fatherhood that didn’t sound pat or cringe didn’t seem to exist, Ms. Saujani lamented. (In the end, speakers went home with a gray crew neck sweater with just the Mom’s First logo, and audience members received trucker hats with the same logo.)
Outside the auditorium, by a counter of free snacks and drinks, the audience mingled, chatting about how they juggled work and parenting and bonded over a shared concern of not having many spaces like this — the kinds of communities that moms have, where they can ask one another questions or just hang out as dads.
Between sessions, Kojo Dufu, a former investment banker who now works at an A.I. start-up, received a text from his teenage daughter saying she had aced her math test. He waved his fist in the air in celebration.
“I was traveling this weekend and normally I would spend the weekend prepping her. But because I just wasn’t here, I assigned her a bunch of work on Thursday before I left, and hoped that she would do it,” Mr. Dufu, 51, said. “I was basically grading her work on the flight and sending feedback until I got back Sunday night.”
Nearby, Kevin Seldon, a podcast host, had flown in from Culver City, Calif., for the event.
At home, Mr. Seldon said he took on more of the caregiving responsibilities for their 6-year-old son than his wife, who leads communications at a large ad agency. “I put him to bed almost every night of his life,” he said. “Me coming to New York for this conference was a big deal — this is her first week alone with him.”
Image
Kevin Seldon, wearing a button-down shirt and a lanyard.
Kevin Seldon, the host of the podcast “DILF (Dad I’d Like to Friend), which he started when he felt isolated and alone during his first year of parenting.Credit...Colin Clark for The New York Times
Mr. Seldon took extended leave and stayed home for the first year of his son’s life. “Throughout that year, I was extremely lonely — couldn’t find friends, couldn’t find any support,” he said. That’s what prompted him in 2020 to start his show, “DILF (Dad I’d Like to Friend),” which quickly climbed parenting podcast charts. “I realized, Oh, there’s a need for this.”
In April, he set up a WhatsApp chat group for dads. Already, about 1,500 have joined, he said, and local groups have formed in cities including Chicago, New York and San Francisco.
“And then we also have worldwide groups like new dads, sober dads, dads of kids with disabilities, stay at home dads,” he added. One dad, in the sober dads group, was having a rough time a few days ago and another member of the group made him a Spotify playlist to cheer him up, Mr. Seldon recalled.
In another corner of the auditorium, two dads snacked on some chips and an energy bar. “We were just joking the other day about like, ‘Hey, remember when we weren’t dads and we had friends?’” said Nathan Ie, a father to a 3-year old son. He had taken time off from his job as a tech entrepreneur in New York to attend the conference with his friend Daniel Weisberg, a doctor who has 3-year-old twins.
After a day of work, “it’s usually home, bath time, dinner, dishes,” Mr. Ie, 43, said, leaving him and his wife little space for anything or anyone else. Dr. Weisberg, 39, nodded in agreement. It was Dr. Weisberg’s wife who had sent them the social media posts about the event and encouraged them both to get tickets.
Image
Nathan Ie holding a canned drink and smiling.
Nathan Ie and his friend Daniel Weisberg attended the event at the encouragement of Dr. Weisberg’s wife.Credit...Colin Clark for The New York Times
Image
Beck Kennedy wearing a tan dress and matching heels.
Dr. Becky Kennedy was a big draw for some dads. She gave a talk titled “Raising Boys and Ourselves.”Credit...Colin Clark for The New York Times
The big draw for Mr. Ie, he said, was the conversation with Dr. Becky Kennedy, the psychologist and parenting influencer with a cult, largely millennial, following.
Dr. Weisberg was taking notes on his phone throughout the afternoon, he said, jotting down takeaways and parenting hacks. He and his wife, the founder of a women’s health start-up, have “a partnership that doesn’t have a ‘default parent,’” he said, because “both of us have demanding careers.”
“We’re trying to figure it out as we go,” he added, ducking out of the conference hall a little early to go pick up his children from preschool.
Alisha Haridasani Gupta is a Times reporter covering women’s health and health inequities.
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/14/styl ... e9677ea768
Re: Parenting Issues
‘Motherhood Should Come With a Warning Label’
Video: https://vp.nyt.com/video/2025/05/27/140 ... g_720p.mp4
Video by Emily Holzknecht and Adam Westbrook
Text by Jessica Grose
Ms. Holzknecht is a producer with Opinion Video. Mr. Westbrook is a producer and editor with Opinion Video. Ms. Grose is an Opinion writer covering family, religion, education, culture and the way we live now.
June 25, 2025
Last year, Times Opinion asked readers to tell us about their journey to motherhood. Almost 2,000 responded, and an overwhelming number were not actually focused on the path to parenthood. Instead, readers wanted to talk about the challenges they experienced after their children arrived.
Their struggles are encapsulated well by Patsy Freeland of New Jersey, one of the dozens of women my colleagues followed up with, who said, “I was not prepared for how inflexible work would be, how expensive it would be and how much our society and economic systems are built off of taking my labor as a mother for granted.” Her words perfectly illustrate the “motherhood penalty” as depicted in the video above.
Technically, the motherhood penalty is the notion that when women become mothers, they earn less money and their wages tend to decrease with each child. When men become fathers, their wages increase, especially among the highest-earning men. That’s the “fatherhood premium.” Inflation over the past several years has made the motherhood penalty feel even more like a punishment.
While the motherhood penalty has been the term of art for what happens to working women when they become mothers, it does not encompass the financial hit taken by the stay-at-home parent. This financial burden isn’t just temporary, either — it stretches all the way to retirement.
Mothers have less money in personal retirement accounts, and they also receive less money from Social Security because they’re more likely to have gaps in their employment history, and their caregiving isn’t valued by society in the way that it should be. Which is to say, caregiving is neither paid nor truly respected.
Because child care has long been more expensive than a mortgage payment in most states, many women feel that their choices are constrained. They’re not always working because they want to, or staying home because they want to — they’re trying to complete a financial puzzle that has several pieces missing. Of course, many fathers feel this, too, but culturally, they’re pushed more into breadwinning than women tend to be (which may not be what makes them happiest, but it does make them more financially solvent).
Over the 15 years that I have been covering parenting — all but two of which I have also been a parent myself — I find that I get more and more pushback for the idea that raising children is a community responsibility. Some people scoff at the idea that parents should ever complain about the financial stress of raising children in the United States, where our social safety nets are some of the flimsiest in the developed world. Pretty consistently, I get responses that boil down to: If you can’t afford kids, that’s on you. You chose to have them. But I think that’s both unempathetic, and shortsighted.
Unempathetic for obvious reasons, including that children are human beings; they shouldn’t be a luxury good. There’s evidence that our society’s disdain for mothers is affecting them emotionally, a kind of embodiment of the motherhood penalty. In May, a large study was published showing that self-reported mental health had become significantly worse for American mothers from 2016 to 2023. The study, which surveyed nearly 200,000 mothers of children up to age 17, found that while mental health had declined for all demographics of mothers, mental health was “significantly” worse for single mothers, mothers with less education and mothers whose children were on public health insurance or had no health insurance at all.
The financial strain of raising children is a contributing factor to lower birthrates around the world. A 2025 report from the United Nations Population Fund asked women from 14 countries around the world, including the United States, “In your personal situation, what factors have led or are likely to lead you to have fewer children than you initially desired?” “Financial limitations” was the most cited reason in every country. In South Korea, which has the lowest fertility rates in the world, 58 percent of respondents said that their finances were holding them back from their ideal families. The second-most-cited reason was unemployment or job insecurity.
While I am not yet worried that the United States will turn into South Korea, if we continue to ignore the financial stress of mothers, we could be headed that way.
The good news is that there are solutions to be had. Permanently increasing the child tax credit has bipartisan support and is in the current Senate tax proposal. But we need to think bolder and bigger than that to really help mothers throughout their life spans, and whether or not they remain in paid employment. Affordable or subsidized child care would be a huge help. In The Atlantic last year, Elliot Haspel suggested caregiver credits go toward Social Security and giving cash assistance to low-income parents who care for their children at home, which a few states have done.
Just listening to mothers about their fears and joys, as expressed in the video, is a start. So many of them are brought to tears talking about how much they love their kids, and how, despite the often unexpected financial strains, their children are their heartbeat. “Was it worth it? 100 percent,” one woman in the video said. It’s worth it — it just shouldn’t have to be this hard.
From the comments
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/25/opin ... areer.html
Video: https://vp.nyt.com/video/2025/05/27/140 ... g_720p.mp4
Video by Emily Holzknecht and Adam Westbrook
Text by Jessica Grose
Ms. Holzknecht is a producer with Opinion Video. Mr. Westbrook is a producer and editor with Opinion Video. Ms. Grose is an Opinion writer covering family, religion, education, culture and the way we live now.
June 25, 2025
Last year, Times Opinion asked readers to tell us about their journey to motherhood. Almost 2,000 responded, and an overwhelming number were not actually focused on the path to parenthood. Instead, readers wanted to talk about the challenges they experienced after their children arrived.
Their struggles are encapsulated well by Patsy Freeland of New Jersey, one of the dozens of women my colleagues followed up with, who said, “I was not prepared for how inflexible work would be, how expensive it would be and how much our society and economic systems are built off of taking my labor as a mother for granted.” Her words perfectly illustrate the “motherhood penalty” as depicted in the video above.
Technically, the motherhood penalty is the notion that when women become mothers, they earn less money and their wages tend to decrease with each child. When men become fathers, their wages increase, especially among the highest-earning men. That’s the “fatherhood premium.” Inflation over the past several years has made the motherhood penalty feel even more like a punishment.
While the motherhood penalty has been the term of art for what happens to working women when they become mothers, it does not encompass the financial hit taken by the stay-at-home parent. This financial burden isn’t just temporary, either — it stretches all the way to retirement.
Mothers have less money in personal retirement accounts, and they also receive less money from Social Security because they’re more likely to have gaps in their employment history, and their caregiving isn’t valued by society in the way that it should be. Which is to say, caregiving is neither paid nor truly respected.
Because child care has long been more expensive than a mortgage payment in most states, many women feel that their choices are constrained. They’re not always working because they want to, or staying home because they want to — they’re trying to complete a financial puzzle that has several pieces missing. Of course, many fathers feel this, too, but culturally, they’re pushed more into breadwinning than women tend to be (which may not be what makes them happiest, but it does make them more financially solvent).
Over the 15 years that I have been covering parenting — all but two of which I have also been a parent myself — I find that I get more and more pushback for the idea that raising children is a community responsibility. Some people scoff at the idea that parents should ever complain about the financial stress of raising children in the United States, where our social safety nets are some of the flimsiest in the developed world. Pretty consistently, I get responses that boil down to: If you can’t afford kids, that’s on you. You chose to have them. But I think that’s both unempathetic, and shortsighted.
Unempathetic for obvious reasons, including that children are human beings; they shouldn’t be a luxury good. There’s evidence that our society’s disdain for mothers is affecting them emotionally, a kind of embodiment of the motherhood penalty. In May, a large study was published showing that self-reported mental health had become significantly worse for American mothers from 2016 to 2023. The study, which surveyed nearly 200,000 mothers of children up to age 17, found that while mental health had declined for all demographics of mothers, mental health was “significantly” worse for single mothers, mothers with less education and mothers whose children were on public health insurance or had no health insurance at all.
The financial strain of raising children is a contributing factor to lower birthrates around the world. A 2025 report from the United Nations Population Fund asked women from 14 countries around the world, including the United States, “In your personal situation, what factors have led or are likely to lead you to have fewer children than you initially desired?” “Financial limitations” was the most cited reason in every country. In South Korea, which has the lowest fertility rates in the world, 58 percent of respondents said that their finances were holding them back from their ideal families. The second-most-cited reason was unemployment or job insecurity.
While I am not yet worried that the United States will turn into South Korea, if we continue to ignore the financial stress of mothers, we could be headed that way.
The good news is that there are solutions to be had. Permanently increasing the child tax credit has bipartisan support and is in the current Senate tax proposal. But we need to think bolder and bigger than that to really help mothers throughout their life spans, and whether or not they remain in paid employment. Affordable or subsidized child care would be a huge help. In The Atlantic last year, Elliot Haspel suggested caregiver credits go toward Social Security and giving cash assistance to low-income parents who care for their children at home, which a few states have done.
Just listening to mothers about their fears and joys, as expressed in the video, is a start. So many of them are brought to tears talking about how much they love their kids, and how, despite the often unexpected financial strains, their children are their heartbeat. “Was it worth it? 100 percent,” one woman in the video said. It’s worth it — it just shouldn’t have to be this hard.
From the comments
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/25/opin ... areer.html