1.Swedish proverb: The pillow is the best advisor.
Meaning: Sleep over a problem and see how you feel in the morning.
2. Kenyan proverb: When elephants fight, it is the grass that gets hurt.
Meaning: Fights of the powerful hurt only the little guys.
3. Ancient Roman proverb: Hunger is the best sauce.
Meaning: Everything tastes better when you are hungry.
4. Japanese proverb: A frog in a well does not know the great sea.
Meaning: There is more going on than you know, try and see the big picture.
5. Turkish proverb: If the world flooded, it would not matter to the duck.
Meaning: Things that are bad for you, aren’t always bad for everyone.
6. Filipino proverb: Leave it to the batman.
Meaning: Some problems require superheroes to solve.
7. Russian proverb: To live with the wolves, you have to howl like a wolf.
Meaning: In dangerous situations, try and blend in.
8. French proverb: A hungry stomach has no ears.
Meaning: You can’t concentrate without food in your tum tum.
9. Kenyan proverb: Slippery ground does not recognise a king.
Meaning: Even the most powerful people are just human deep down.
10. Gaelic proverb: A cat in mittens won’t catch mice.
Meaning: Being careful and polite doesn’t always get things done.
Teachable Moments
Stop Multitasking. No, Really — Just Stop It.
A few months ago, I was teetering on the brink of feeling overwhelmed by life’s responsibilities, afflicted by the ambient anxiety that seems to be an intrinsic part of life in the 2020s. In an effort to maintain — or maybe restore — my sanity, I embarked on a personal endurance challenge.
Other people, at similar moments, begin competing in grueling triathlons, or head off on intensive meditation retreats. Me? I decided to give up listening to podcasts or music while running, or driving, or loading the dishwasher, or doing almost anything else. To just focus, in other words, on what it was I was actually doing, one activity at a time.
It was surprisingly hard. Once you’ve finished mocking me for treating such a trifling alteration to my habits like a grand existential struggle, I have one request: Try it. Identify the small tricks you use to avoid being fully present with whatever you’re doing, and put them aside for a week or two.
You may discover, as I did, that you were unwittingly addicted to not doing one thing at a time. You might even come to agree with me that restoring our capacity to live sequentially — that is, focusing on one thing after another, in turn, and enduring the confrontation with our human limitations that this inherently entails — may be among the most crucial skills for thriving in the uncertain, crisis-prone future we all face.
It’s not that the urge to multitask is anything new. “One thinks with a watch in one’s hand,” Nietzsche complained as early as 1887, “even as one eats one’s midday meal while reading the latest news of the stock market.” We’ve also long known that multitasking doesn’t really work. You’ve probably read — perhaps while half-watching TV — articles explaining the research findings that multitasking isn’t really even possible; mainly, we’re just switching our attention rapidly between different foci without realizing it, incurring cognitive costs each time we do so. One study of drivers found only 2.5 percent of people showed no performance decrease when attempting two tasks at once. The rest of us just end up doing everything worse.
Yet the pressure to multitask can still often seem like something imposed on us from outside. Burdened by so many demands at work, you can feel as though you’ve no choice but to split your attention among them. Meanwhile, should you feel some responsibility to address the troubles of the wider world as well, then the causes for alarm — the climate, the fate of democracy, the threats from artificial intelligence and the risk of nuclear war, to name just a few — are so numerous as to make multitasking look like every citizen’s duty.
Technological advances turn the screw further. Those of us not raised as “digital natives” can remember a time when we didn’t have the option of using social media to distract ourselves from unpleasant tasks, and when the limits imposed by our tools — the speed of snail mail, for example, or the time it took to visit a library to conduct research — meant we felt less pressure from bosses or customers to somehow transcend the limits imposed by our finite attention spans.
But philosophers and spiritual teachers have long understood that the urge to avoid giving ourselves fully to any single activity goes deeper, to the core of our struggles as finite human beings.
The Hindu mystic Patanjali, for example, saw doing one thing at a time as a core yogic discipline, suggesting that it didn’t come easily to people 2,000 years ago, either. We rail against what the Christian productivity writer Jordan Raynor calls our “unipresence” — our inability to be in more than one place at a time, in contrast to the omnipresence attributed to God — and against the shortness of our time on earth, which averages little more than four thousand weeks. All this finitude feels unpleasantly constraining, because it means there will always be many more things we could do than we ever will do — and that the choice to spend a portion of our time on any one thing automatically entails the sacrifice of countless other things we might have done with it.
This explains the attraction of multitasking: It offers the false promise that we might somehow slip the bonds of our finitude. We tell ourselves that with sufficient self-discipline, plus the right time-management tricks, we might finally “get on top of everything” and feel good about ourselves at last. This utopia never arrives, of course, though it often feels as if it might be just around the corner.
The uncomfortable truth is that the only way to find sanity in an overwhelming world — and to have any concrete effect on that world — is to surrender such efforts to escape the human condition, and drop back down into the reality of our limitations. Distracting yourself from challenging tasks by, say, listening to podcasts doesn’t actually make them more bearable over the long term; instead, it makes them less enjoyable, by reinforcing your belief that they’re the sort of activities you can tolerate only by distracting yourself — while at the same time all but ensuring that you’ll neither accomplish the task in question nor digest the contents of the podcast as well as you otherwise might.
At work, the way to get more tasks done is to learn to let most of them wait while you focus on one. “This is the ‘secret’ of those people who ‘do so many things’ and apparently so many difficult things,” wrote the management guru Peter Drucker in his book “The Effective Executive.” “They do only one at a time.” Making a difference in one domain requires giving yourself permission not to care equally about all the others.
There will always be too much to do, no matter what you do. But the ironic upside of this seemingly dispiriting fact is that you needn’t beat yourself up for failing to do it all, nor keep pressuring yourself to find ways to get on top of it all by means of increasingly extreme multitasking.
Instead, you can pour your finite time, energy and attention into a handful of things that truly count. You’ll enjoy things more, into the bargain. My gratifying new ability to “be here now” while running or driving or cooking dinner isn’t the result of having developed any great spiritual prowess. Rather, it’s a matter of realizing I could only ever be here now anyway — so I might as well give up the stressful struggle to pretend otherwise.
Oliver Burkeman is the author of “Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/29/opin ... 778d3e6de3
My Three Favorite Pieces of Advice
Dear Karim,
I recently got an invitation to be interviewed on a podcast, and I was asked to share my three favorite bits of advice for others.
In the end I decided not to do the podcast interview, but I thought I’d share my thoughts with you. These pieces of advice are really from other people, but they have been important to me, and I hope they make a difference in your life, too.
The first bit of advice is “It’s only a thought, and a thought can be changed” from Louise Hay. I have thought about this Louise quote thousands of times over the past 35 years. When I first heard it, I really didn’t understand how transformative it could be, but over time I began to realize the true power of this message. It was really the basis for much of what Louise taught for so many years, and it has helped so many people, including me.
This simple truth is so empowering because once you really take it in, you know you can always make your life better just by changing the way you’re thinking. So many of the troubles we think we have are really created by our own thoughts. We have about 10,000 thoughts a day, and many of those are negative ones that we choose to think about ourselves and our circumstances, when in reality they aren’t true at all.
The second bit of advice is very similar, yet it’s different in the way I think about it. While doing the PBS special for his book, The Power of Intention, Wayne Dyer said, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” The minute Wayne said this for the first time, it began to resonate with listeners and viewers. I remember Wayne saying this again on QVC, and the phones just lit up with callers because so many people related to this statement.
I have written other newsletters about this quote and the simple power it can have in your life if you really apply it. Just take the time to look at circumstances in your life from a different view or lens, and you will be surprised how those things change.
The third bit of advice is from a country song called “Buy Dirt” by Jordan Davis. There is a lyric in the song that says “Do what you love but call it work.” This is probably the best advice I could give anyone because if you can do what you love every day (and get paid for it), your life will be much richer. This resonates with me because I consider myself very lucky to have spent the last 35 years doing what I love and calling it “work.” People ask me when I’m going to quit working, but I don’t think I’ll ever quit because I don’t think of what I do as work.
Now, this doesn’t mean that I couldn’t find something else I love doing. And it doesn’t mean I have loved every single task, every single day; there have been some very challenging times for sure. But overall, it has been wonderful spending my time here at Hay House.
After Louise Hay founded Hay House at age 60, she spent the next 30 years doing what she loved every day. Wayne Dyer spent 40 years writing books, giving speeches, and teaching, and he loved it. They both found so much joy and meaning in their “work.”
I give this advice to my kids and nieces and nephews often. It seems to make sense to them, even if they aren’t able to apply it at this moment in their young lives.
I hope you find something in these pieces of advice that you can apply in your own life.
Have a great week.
Wishing You the Best,
Reid Tracy
CEO, Hay House
I recently got an invitation to be interviewed on a podcast, and I was asked to share my three favorite bits of advice for others.
In the end I decided not to do the podcast interview, but I thought I’d share my thoughts with you. These pieces of advice are really from other people, but they have been important to me, and I hope they make a difference in your life, too.
The first bit of advice is “It’s only a thought, and a thought can be changed” from Louise Hay. I have thought about this Louise quote thousands of times over the past 35 years. When I first heard it, I really didn’t understand how transformative it could be, but over time I began to realize the true power of this message. It was really the basis for much of what Louise taught for so many years, and it has helped so many people, including me.
This simple truth is so empowering because once you really take it in, you know you can always make your life better just by changing the way you’re thinking. So many of the troubles we think we have are really created by our own thoughts. We have about 10,000 thoughts a day, and many of those are negative ones that we choose to think about ourselves and our circumstances, when in reality they aren’t true at all.
The second bit of advice is very similar, yet it’s different in the way I think about it. While doing the PBS special for his book, The Power of Intention, Wayne Dyer said, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” The minute Wayne said this for the first time, it began to resonate with listeners and viewers. I remember Wayne saying this again on QVC, and the phones just lit up with callers because so many people related to this statement.
I have written other newsletters about this quote and the simple power it can have in your life if you really apply it. Just take the time to look at circumstances in your life from a different view or lens, and you will be surprised how those things change.
The third bit of advice is from a country song called “Buy Dirt” by Jordan Davis. There is a lyric in the song that says “Do what you love but call it work.” This is probably the best advice I could give anyone because if you can do what you love every day (and get paid for it), your life will be much richer. This resonates with me because I consider myself very lucky to have spent the last 35 years doing what I love and calling it “work.” People ask me when I’m going to quit working, but I don’t think I’ll ever quit because I don’t think of what I do as work.
Now, this doesn’t mean that I couldn’t find something else I love doing. And it doesn’t mean I have loved every single task, every single day; there have been some very challenging times for sure. But overall, it has been wonderful spending my time here at Hay House.
After Louise Hay founded Hay House at age 60, she spent the next 30 years doing what she loved every day. Wayne Dyer spent 40 years writing books, giving speeches, and teaching, and he loved it. They both found so much joy and meaning in their “work.”
I give this advice to my kids and nieces and nephews often. It seems to make sense to them, even if they aren’t able to apply it at this moment in their young lives.
I hope you find something in these pieces of advice that you can apply in your own life.
Have a great week.
Wishing You the Best,
Reid Tracy
CEO, Hay House
Re: Teachable Moments
A lovely little girl was holding two apples with both hands.
Her mum came in and softly asked her little daughter with a smile; my sweetie, could you give your mum one of your two apples?
The girl looked up at her mum for some seconds, then she suddenly took a quick bite on one apple, and then quickly on the other.
The mum felt the smile on her face freeze. She tried hard not to reveal her disappointment.
Then the little girl handed one of her bitten apples to her mum,and said: mummy, here you are. This is the sweeter one.
No matter who you are, how experienced you are, and how knowledgeable you think you are, always delay judgement.
Give others the privilege to explain themselves.
What you see may not be the reality. Never conclude for others.
Which is why we should never only focus on the surface and judge others without understanding them first.
Those who like to pay the bill, do so not because they are loaded but because they value friendship above money.
Those who take the initiative at work, do so not because they are stupid but because they understand the concept of responsibility.
Those who apologize first after a fight, do so not because they are wrong but because they value the people around them.
Those who are willing to help you, do so not because they owe you any thing but because they see you as a true friend.
Those who often text you, do so not because they have nothing better to do but because you are in their heart.
Those who take out time to chat with you, do not mean they are jobless or less busy, but they know the importance of keeping in touch.
One day, all of us will get separated from each other; we will miss our conversations of everything & nothing; the dreams that we had.
Days will pass by, months, years, until this contact becomes rare... One day our children will see our pictures and ask 'Who are these people?' And we will smile with invisible tears because a heart is touched with a strong word and you will say: 'IT WAS THEM THAT I HAD THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE WITH'.
Send this to all your friends that you will never forget.
Put this on the whatsapp of those who made you smile in any type of way.
It might surprise you but look at how many will be sent back.
Thank you for making me smile for sometime in my life.
Her mum came in and softly asked her little daughter with a smile; my sweetie, could you give your mum one of your two apples?
The girl looked up at her mum for some seconds, then she suddenly took a quick bite on one apple, and then quickly on the other.
The mum felt the smile on her face freeze. She tried hard not to reveal her disappointment.
Then the little girl handed one of her bitten apples to her mum,and said: mummy, here you are. This is the sweeter one.
No matter who you are, how experienced you are, and how knowledgeable you think you are, always delay judgement.
Give others the privilege to explain themselves.
What you see may not be the reality. Never conclude for others.
Which is why we should never only focus on the surface and judge others without understanding them first.
Those who like to pay the bill, do so not because they are loaded but because they value friendship above money.
Those who take the initiative at work, do so not because they are stupid but because they understand the concept of responsibility.
Those who apologize first after a fight, do so not because they are wrong but because they value the people around them.
Those who are willing to help you, do so not because they owe you any thing but because they see you as a true friend.
Those who often text you, do so not because they have nothing better to do but because you are in their heart.
Those who take out time to chat with you, do not mean they are jobless or less busy, but they know the importance of keeping in touch.
One day, all of us will get separated from each other; we will miss our conversations of everything & nothing; the dreams that we had.
Days will pass by, months, years, until this contact becomes rare... One day our children will see our pictures and ask 'Who are these people?' And we will smile with invisible tears because a heart is touched with a strong word and you will say: 'IT WAS THEM THAT I HAD THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE WITH'.
Send this to all your friends that you will never forget.
Put this on the whatsapp of those who made you smile in any type of way.
It might surprise you but look at how many will be sent back.
Thank you for making me smile for sometime in my life.
Re: Teachable Moments
40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ, ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ. ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ ᴍᴀɴʏ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀғʀᴀɪᴅ ᴏғ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ.
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40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ, ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ ʀᴇsᴘᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs. ɴᴏᴡ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇsᴘᴇᴄᴛ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ.
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40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ, ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴇᴀsʏ ʙᴜᴛ ᴅɪᴠᴏʀᴄᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴅɪғғɪᴄᴜʟᴛ. ɴᴏᴡᴀᴅᴀʏs ɪᴛ ɪs ᴅɪғғɪᴄᴜʟᴛ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴇᴅ ʙᴜᴛ ᴅɪᴠᴏʀᴄᴇ ɪs sᴏ ᴇᴀsʏ.
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40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ, ᴡᴇ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇɪɢʜʙᴏʀs. ɴᴏᴡ ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀs ᴛᴏ ᴏᴜʀ ɴᴇɪɢʜʙᴏʀs.
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40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ, ᴠɪʟʟᴀɢᴇʀs ᴡᴇʀᴇ ғʟᴏᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄɪᴛʏ ᴛᴏ ғɪɴᴅ ᴊᴏʙs. ɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏᴡɴ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ғʟᴇᴇɪɴɢ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ CITY ᴛᴏ ғɪɴᴅ ᴘᴇᴀᴄᴇ.
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40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ, ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ғᴀᴛ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ. ɴᴏᴡᴀᴅᴀʏs ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴅɪᴇᴛs ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜʏ.
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40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ, ʀɪᴄʜ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴘᴏᴏʀ. ɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏᴏʀ ᴀʀᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ʀɪᴄʜ.
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40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ, ᴏɴʟʏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ᴡᴏʀᴋᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴜᴘᴘᴏʀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ғᴀᴍɪʟʏ. ɴᴏᴡ ᴀʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴛᴏ sᴜᴘᴘᴏʀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ.
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40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ, ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴜᴅʏ & ʀᴇᴀᴅ ʙᴏᴏᴋs. ɴᴏᴡ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇ ғᴀᴄᴇʙᴏᴏᴋ & ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴡʜᴀᴛsᴀᴘᴘ ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇs.
40 YEARS AGO WAS 1983...WHICH SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY!
These are hard ғᴀᴄᴛs of ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ's ʟɪғᴇ.
SURE TRUTH
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40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ, ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ ʀᴇsᴘᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs. ɴᴏᴡ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇsᴘᴇᴄᴛ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ.
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40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ, ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴇᴀsʏ ʙᴜᴛ ᴅɪᴠᴏʀᴄᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴅɪғғɪᴄᴜʟᴛ. ɴᴏᴡᴀᴅᴀʏs ɪᴛ ɪs ᴅɪғғɪᴄᴜʟᴛ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴇᴅ ʙᴜᴛ ᴅɪᴠᴏʀᴄᴇ ɪs sᴏ ᴇᴀsʏ.
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40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ, ᴡᴇ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇɪɢʜʙᴏʀs. ɴᴏᴡ ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀs ᴛᴏ ᴏᴜʀ ɴᴇɪɢʜʙᴏʀs.
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40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ, ᴠɪʟʟᴀɢᴇʀs ᴡᴇʀᴇ ғʟᴏᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄɪᴛʏ ᴛᴏ ғɪɴᴅ ᴊᴏʙs. ɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏᴡɴ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ғʟᴇᴇɪɴɢ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ CITY ᴛᴏ ғɪɴᴅ ᴘᴇᴀᴄᴇ.
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40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ, ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ғᴀᴛ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ. ɴᴏᴡᴀᴅᴀʏs ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴅɪᴇᴛs ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜʏ.
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40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ, ʀɪᴄʜ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴘᴏᴏʀ. ɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏᴏʀ ᴀʀᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ʀɪᴄʜ.
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40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ, ᴏɴʟʏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ᴡᴏʀᴋᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴜᴘᴘᴏʀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ғᴀᴍɪʟʏ. ɴᴏᴡ ᴀʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴛᴏ sᴜᴘᴘᴏʀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ.
..........................................
40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ, ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴜᴅʏ & ʀᴇᴀᴅ ʙᴏᴏᴋs. ɴᴏᴡ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇ ғᴀᴄᴇʙᴏᴏᴋ & ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴡʜᴀᴛsᴀᴘᴘ ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇs.
40 YEARS AGO WAS 1983...WHICH SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY!
These are hard ғᴀᴄᴛs of ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ's ʟɪғᴇ.
SURE TRUTH
When the Best Gift Costs Nothing at All
In a season of high spirits and spirited spending, experts say focusing on sentiment over receipts is more likely to bring holiday cheer.
On Christmas Eve in 2013, Elisa Stead, an American living abroad in Iceland, was ready to celebrate the holiday with her fiancé and his family. But when she tore open the wrapping on his gift for her, she was disheartened to discover what lay inside: a car-window scraper. Sure, she lived in a frosty place, but she didn’t own a car. Receiving such a thoughtless gift made for an unhappy holiday, and the relationship ended within the year.
Two years later, Stead was living in Norway and recently engaged to a different man. She still felt detached from the magic of Christmas so her new fiancé, Tore Græsdal, made it his mission to revive it for her. But that didn’t mean spending lavishly. Instead, Græsdal recorded himself reading Norwegian folk tales, and added in a couple of sound effects, like a crackling fire, to make it feel cozy.
The recordings signified their future together in her adopted country and her embrace of a new culture and language. Stead, who traveled often for work and didn’t yet live with her fiancé, took comfort in listening to the folk tales when she and Græsdal were apart. Years later, the couple still return to the recordings, now playing them for their children. Græsdal’s gift that year was priceless in both senses: It cost him nearly nothing to create, and it was so unique no price could be placed on it.
The holiday season is a time of high spirits and spirited spending. As people deal with the pressure of finding the perfect gift for their loved ones, many gifters respond by throwing money at the challenge. One survey found that Americans plan to spend an average of $831 on gifts this year; more than half of them incurred credit card debt to cover last year’s costs, and nearly a third of those are still paying that debt off. According to experts, this approach may be misguided.
Givers “tend to overspend each time they set out to purchase a meaningful gift,” Francis J. Flynn and Gabrielle S. Adams, two professors at Stanford’s Graduate School of Business, wrote in a study. They found that, while “gift givers assume that more expensive gifts convey a higher level of thoughtfulness,” recipients don’t see them that way.
Instead, it’s worth considering gifting options that, like Græsdal’s, cost little or nothing, but can be especially cherished because they demonstrate the time and effort that have gone into a token worthy of the giver’s affection for the recipient.
People tend to overestimate the correlation between a gift’s monetary value and its emotional impact, explained Julian Givi, an assistant professor of marketing at West Virginia University’s John Chambers College of Business and Economics. “These no-cost gifts that people are creating from scratch, they’re conveying thoughtfulness and care and appreciation,” he said, all of which mean more than a receipt.
Givi also found that experiences are often better appreciated than material gifts. Some experiential gifts cost money but it is possible to give ones that don’t: a scavenger hunt, a personalized walking tour or hike, teaching someone a skill they’ve expressed interest in. Such presents also tend to generate less physical and financial waste — another concern this season — than material gifts.
Some of the best gifts draw on shared interests. Megan O’Hara and Jonathan Krieger met at a board game speed-dating event in Boston in 2019. The year after they started dating, O’Hara gave Krieger a board game based on a book he had written. She didn’t have a background in game design, but drew on games they enjoyed playing together. She made the cards on the graphic design website Canva, printed them out and used a shoe box as the game’s container. It was, Krieger said, one of the best gifts he’s ever received. (Perhaps the best known example of such a gift is the New York Times game Wordle, which was created as a present by a software engineer for his partner, but ended up being a gift to millions of others.)
While homemade gifts can seem daunting to those who don’t consider themselves crafty, it helps to shift the idea of what those gifts can look like. The key is doing something personal, such as writing someone a letter, song or poem, or recording some favorite memories. If creating something original feels overwhelming, curation is another way to give a thoughtful gift, whether it’s making a mixtape (or, these days, more likely a Spotify playlist), or compiling and sharing favorite recipes.
“Givers refrain from going with the sentimental thing more often than recipients would prefer,” Givi said. “People shouldn’t be as afraid to give them.”
The value of such gifts is found in their enduring resonance. When I was growing up, my grandmother and I shared a love of reading, and she often gave me books from her extensive personal collection as holiday gifts. But one year, when I was a teenager, I unwrapped a bundle of nine typed pages labeled “Favorite Books.”
She’d listed over 30 books and, with each suggestion, she shared a paragraph about her relationship to the book — when she encountered it, why it had stuck with her or a favorite quote. That year, I wondered why she hadn’t just given me another book, which I could have happily cracked open in front of the fireplace that day.
But her desire to share her memories of the books with me was an unforgettable gift. I didn’t end up getting to most of the books while she was alive, so having this special list offers me a way to keep reading alongside her.
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/17/styl ... -cost.html
On Christmas Eve in 2013, Elisa Stead, an American living abroad in Iceland, was ready to celebrate the holiday with her fiancé and his family. But when she tore open the wrapping on his gift for her, she was disheartened to discover what lay inside: a car-window scraper. Sure, she lived in a frosty place, but she didn’t own a car. Receiving such a thoughtless gift made for an unhappy holiday, and the relationship ended within the year.
Two years later, Stead was living in Norway and recently engaged to a different man. She still felt detached from the magic of Christmas so her new fiancé, Tore Græsdal, made it his mission to revive it for her. But that didn’t mean spending lavishly. Instead, Græsdal recorded himself reading Norwegian folk tales, and added in a couple of sound effects, like a crackling fire, to make it feel cozy.
The recordings signified their future together in her adopted country and her embrace of a new culture and language. Stead, who traveled often for work and didn’t yet live with her fiancé, took comfort in listening to the folk tales when she and Græsdal were apart. Years later, the couple still return to the recordings, now playing them for their children. Græsdal’s gift that year was priceless in both senses: It cost him nearly nothing to create, and it was so unique no price could be placed on it.
The holiday season is a time of high spirits and spirited spending. As people deal with the pressure of finding the perfect gift for their loved ones, many gifters respond by throwing money at the challenge. One survey found that Americans plan to spend an average of $831 on gifts this year; more than half of them incurred credit card debt to cover last year’s costs, and nearly a third of those are still paying that debt off. According to experts, this approach may be misguided.
Givers “tend to overspend each time they set out to purchase a meaningful gift,” Francis J. Flynn and Gabrielle S. Adams, two professors at Stanford’s Graduate School of Business, wrote in a study. They found that, while “gift givers assume that more expensive gifts convey a higher level of thoughtfulness,” recipients don’t see them that way.
Instead, it’s worth considering gifting options that, like Græsdal’s, cost little or nothing, but can be especially cherished because they demonstrate the time and effort that have gone into a token worthy of the giver’s affection for the recipient.
People tend to overestimate the correlation between a gift’s monetary value and its emotional impact, explained Julian Givi, an assistant professor of marketing at West Virginia University’s John Chambers College of Business and Economics. “These no-cost gifts that people are creating from scratch, they’re conveying thoughtfulness and care and appreciation,” he said, all of which mean more than a receipt.
Givi also found that experiences are often better appreciated than material gifts. Some experiential gifts cost money but it is possible to give ones that don’t: a scavenger hunt, a personalized walking tour or hike, teaching someone a skill they’ve expressed interest in. Such presents also tend to generate less physical and financial waste — another concern this season — than material gifts.
Some of the best gifts draw on shared interests. Megan O’Hara and Jonathan Krieger met at a board game speed-dating event in Boston in 2019. The year after they started dating, O’Hara gave Krieger a board game based on a book he had written. She didn’t have a background in game design, but drew on games they enjoyed playing together. She made the cards on the graphic design website Canva, printed them out and used a shoe box as the game’s container. It was, Krieger said, one of the best gifts he’s ever received. (Perhaps the best known example of such a gift is the New York Times game Wordle, which was created as a present by a software engineer for his partner, but ended up being a gift to millions of others.)
While homemade gifts can seem daunting to those who don’t consider themselves crafty, it helps to shift the idea of what those gifts can look like. The key is doing something personal, such as writing someone a letter, song or poem, or recording some favorite memories. If creating something original feels overwhelming, curation is another way to give a thoughtful gift, whether it’s making a mixtape (or, these days, more likely a Spotify playlist), or compiling and sharing favorite recipes.
“Givers refrain from going with the sentimental thing more often than recipients would prefer,” Givi said. “People shouldn’t be as afraid to give them.”
The value of such gifts is found in their enduring resonance. When I was growing up, my grandmother and I shared a love of reading, and she often gave me books from her extensive personal collection as holiday gifts. But one year, when I was a teenager, I unwrapped a bundle of nine typed pages labeled “Favorite Books.”
She’d listed over 30 books and, with each suggestion, she shared a paragraph about her relationship to the book — when she encountered it, why it had stuck with her or a favorite quote. That year, I wondered why she hadn’t just given me another book, which I could have happily cracked open in front of the fireplace that day.
But her desire to share her memories of the books with me was an unforgettable gift. I didn’t end up getting to most of the books while she was alive, so having this special list offers me a way to keep reading alongside her.
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/17/styl ... -cost.html
[FREE] Announcing the Living a Joyful Life Summit
Hello Karim,
Would you like to live with more inner peace, freedom and joy?
Are you sometimes in a state of distress, with little or no idea how to start changing your life?
Do you sometimes feel trapped and disconnected from who you really are?
Our friends at Wisdom for Life are presenting an extraordinary online event.
It's called the Living a Joyful Life Summit https://www.livingajoyfullifesummit.com/home?r_done=1 , and we are inviting you to attend for FREE, from February 21 to 25, 2024
And... why is it called the Living a Joyful Life Summit?
Because it’s designed to get rid of the blocks that have been holding you back from having more of the inner peace, freedom and joy you deserve…
Joy is not just a fleeting emotion — it's a vital aspect of a well-rounded, healthy life.
Join this remarkable group of people who will guide you through this 5-day event.
Tara Brach, Sharon Salzberg, Jack Kornfield, Sam Harris, Michael Beckwith, Byron Katie, Anne Lamott, Maria Shriver, Dan Harris, Daniel Goleman, Tami Simon, Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, Trudy Goodman, Dan Siegel, Kristin Neff, Joseph Goldstein, Krishna Das, Terry Real, Rhonda Magee, Richard Davidson, Robert Thurman and many more.
Head here now to register for FREE https://www.livingajoyfullifesummit.com/home?lid=686882
And here is how the Summit will help you...
Discover Happiness Strategies - Learn from renowned experts who will share practical, actionable strategies to infuse your life with joy.
Solve Real-Life Challenges - Whether it’s stress, lack of purpose, or everyday monotony, the Summit offers solutions to enhance your daily experience.
Overcome Negativity - Learn techniques to tackle negative thoughts and emotions, turning challenges into stepping stones for growth.
Find Your Purpose - Engage in activities that help you discover and pursue your passions and purpose in life.
Boost Your Well-Being - Immerse in practices that enhance your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
Unlock Creativity and Innovation - Discover how joy and positivity can unlock your creative potentials, leading to personal and professional growth.
Achieve Greater Life Satisfaction - Understand how to integrate the principles of joy into daily life, leading to a deeper sense of fulfillment and contentment.
If you’re ready to start living with more joy — and you want to experience how that can help improve every area of your life — then I very much encourage you to join us for this wonderful event...
Click here now to register for FREE. https://www.livingajoyfullifesummit.com/home?lid=686882
Warmly,
Fleet Maull, PhD
Founder - Heart Mind Institute
_______________________________________
P.S. When you register right now, you’ll immediately receive the five exclusive bonuses below to help you on your way…
Jack Kornfield & Trudy Goodman’s Awareness as a Tool: How to Find Balance and Calm from Within Video Presentation
Jon Kabat-Zinn’s The Meditation Practice Is Life Itself Video Presentation
Ruth King’s Shifting Your Expectations: How to Live Life With More Joy Video Presentation
A chapter from Rick Hanson’s latest book, Making Great Relationships
Tea: Handheld Meditation eBook, from Spirituality & Health
Get these valuable bonuses when you sign up now for FREE, here.
The Greatest Lesson of the Solar Eclipse
Six years as a space reporter taught me that chaos reigns supreme. I have watched enough go wrong to know no mission or any view of a celestial event is ever truly promised to us terrestrial observers.
So when my mother and I decided to drive out to Erie, Pa., to see Monday’s solar eclipse within the path of totality, I knew this would be a trip of two clashing attitudes. I’d be pessimistic about the weather and convinced we’d be victims of the randomness that governs the world; my mom would have strong faith that order would triumph and the skies would let us glimpse an eclipse like this for the first time in our lives. I told her not to count on the universe for this one; she told me she wouldn’t count on anything else.
I was once again humbled into a lesson I’ve learned time and time again: Mama knows best. Erie’s forecast this morning was looking abysmal, but by the time first contact began a little after 2 p.m., the clouds over the city’s bay front began to disperse. The pale yellow sun under the eclipse lenses rapidly crested, concentrating into a fierce orange glow.
Totality struck at 3:16 p.m. A thin white glow pierced out from the edge of a clean black circle. The colors of the sunset eerily bloomed in the distance. Clamoring sea gulls took a haphazard flight. I could spot solar prominences (regions of intense magnetism) jutting from the sides of the sun in tiny hints of bright red and pink. Jupiter and Venus made cameos. It felt like bearing witness to something close to a miracle.
Four minutes later, totality ended. The sun brightened again. And the clouds returned with a vengeance, swallowing up the moon and the sun and sky in gray. But for four incredible minutes, the universe seems to have made good on a promise to my mother.
https://www.nytimes.com/live/2024/04/09 ... cis-gender
[FREE] Announcing The Power of Love Summit
Hi Karim,
Do you long for more meaningful relationships or wish to find healing and growth through love?
Perhaps you're wondering how to reignite the spark in your intimate relationship, or perhaps you’re searching for a way to bring more love and understanding into your interactions with the world.
I’m so happy to announce an extraordinary new event our friends at Wisdom for Life have put together, one that I know is going to help a lot of people…
I invite you to join us for the first-ever The Power of Love Summit, being held online June 4-11, 2024.
SIGN UP NOW FOR FREE https://www.poweroflovesummit.com/home
This is probably the MOST comprehensive online event ever presented on the transformative power of love.
Everything from the healing power of love, to love for ourselves, romantic love and intimate relationships, love for our family and friends, love for our community and humanity, love for our planet, what religious and spiritual traditions teach us about love, and more…
And every session starts with the question: What is love?
The Summit features a remarkable group of presenters, including relationship psychologists, social scientists, marriage and family counselors, health professionals who integrate love into healing practices, artists and storytellers who explore themes of love in their work, spiritual leaders, and so many more…
Please join Deepak Chopra, Jane Fonda, Marianne Williamson, Michael Beckwith, Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield, Anne Lamott, Sharon Salzberg, John Gray, Trudy Goodman, Kute Blackson, Thomas Hübl, Ocean Robbins, Valarie Kaur, Sue Morter and 40 more presenters…
LEARN MORE AND SIGN UP HERE https://www.poweroflovesummit.com/home
Take a look at how the Summit can help you...
- Boost Your Self-Love - Master self-care practices that affirm your value and enhance your self-esteem
- Revitalize Your Love Life - Rekindle romance and intimacy with expert-led sessions addressing common relationship challenges
- Strengthen Family Bonds - Mend and deepen relationships with tools that foster understanding and respect across generations
- Embrace Healing Techniques - Participate in sessions that utilize love as a foundational tool for emotional and physical healing
- Celebrate Love's Transformative Power - End the Summit empowered with actionable steps, inspiration, and a renewed belief in the power of love to change lives…
Join the Summit and become a force for positive change in a world that needs more love, compassion and connection than ever before.
Warmly,
Fleet Maull, PhD
Heart Mind Institute Founder and CEO
P.S. Register now for free and immediately receive these five exclusive bonuses to help you on your way…
- Byron Katie’s Questioning Your Thoughts: The Key to a Joy-Filled Existence Video Presentation
- Matt Kahn’s Loving Whatever Arises: The Journey of Heart-Centered Self-Realization Video Presentation
- Justin Michael Williams’ Personal Transformation: Breaking Through Your Inner Blocks to Love Who You Really Are Video Presentation
- Chapter from Anne Lamott’s new book, Somehow: Thoughts on Love
- Annie Lalla’s new guide, Love, Sex & Conflict: The Expose
Do you long for more meaningful relationships or wish to find healing and growth through love?
Perhaps you're wondering how to reignite the spark in your intimate relationship, or perhaps you’re searching for a way to bring more love and understanding into your interactions with the world.
I’m so happy to announce an extraordinary new event our friends at Wisdom for Life have put together, one that I know is going to help a lot of people…
I invite you to join us for the first-ever The Power of Love Summit, being held online June 4-11, 2024.
SIGN UP NOW FOR FREE https://www.poweroflovesummit.com/home
This is probably the MOST comprehensive online event ever presented on the transformative power of love.
Everything from the healing power of love, to love for ourselves, romantic love and intimate relationships, love for our family and friends, love for our community and humanity, love for our planet, what religious and spiritual traditions teach us about love, and more…
And every session starts with the question: What is love?
The Summit features a remarkable group of presenters, including relationship psychologists, social scientists, marriage and family counselors, health professionals who integrate love into healing practices, artists and storytellers who explore themes of love in their work, spiritual leaders, and so many more…
Please join Deepak Chopra, Jane Fonda, Marianne Williamson, Michael Beckwith, Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield, Anne Lamott, Sharon Salzberg, John Gray, Trudy Goodman, Kute Blackson, Thomas Hübl, Ocean Robbins, Valarie Kaur, Sue Morter and 40 more presenters…
LEARN MORE AND SIGN UP HERE https://www.poweroflovesummit.com/home
Take a look at how the Summit can help you...
- Boost Your Self-Love - Master self-care practices that affirm your value and enhance your self-esteem
- Revitalize Your Love Life - Rekindle romance and intimacy with expert-led sessions addressing common relationship challenges
- Strengthen Family Bonds - Mend and deepen relationships with tools that foster understanding and respect across generations
- Embrace Healing Techniques - Participate in sessions that utilize love as a foundational tool for emotional and physical healing
- Celebrate Love's Transformative Power - End the Summit empowered with actionable steps, inspiration, and a renewed belief in the power of love to change lives…
Join the Summit and become a force for positive change in a world that needs more love, compassion and connection than ever before.
Warmly,
Fleet Maull, PhD
Heart Mind Institute Founder and CEO
P.S. Register now for free and immediately receive these five exclusive bonuses to help you on your way…
- Byron Katie’s Questioning Your Thoughts: The Key to a Joy-Filled Existence Video Presentation
- Matt Kahn’s Loving Whatever Arises: The Journey of Heart-Centered Self-Realization Video Presentation
- Justin Michael Williams’ Personal Transformation: Breaking Through Your Inner Blocks to Love Who You Really Are Video Presentation
- Chapter from Anne Lamott’s new book, Somehow: Thoughts on Love
- Annie Lalla’s new guide, Love, Sex & Conflict: The Expose
How to like yourself more
Author Headshot
By Melissa Kirsch
Good morning. Taking time to enumerate the things you like about yourself each day may sound terminally woo-woo or conceited, but in practice, the results can be pretty transformative.
In an illustration, a woman holds a bouquet of flowers at a market.
María Jesús Contreras
Best practices
I want to be a person with practices. A yoga practice, a mindfulness practice, a gratitude practice. I’m not totally sure when a nourishing activity passes into the realm of a practice, but I think it has something to do with intention and devotion. You prioritize doing this thing that has a positive effect on you or others or on the world you live in — say, sitting in quiet contemplation for 20 minutes each morning, or journaling every night before bed. You commit to doing it on a regular basis, and after enough reps, it becomes part of who you are.
I’ve been hesitant to declare — to myself, never mind anyone else — that I’ve established any of the aforementioned practices because I’m skeptical of my ability to stick with them. I tend to burn hot in the initial phases of something that promises to improve my life, and then lose steam very quickly. I’ve done the first day of the “Yoga With Adriene” 30-day challenge at least 30 times.
One need not be so doctrinaire about one’s practices, I know. The point is to do and feel better, not to get a gold star. I’ve wandered away from many practices only to return to them, usually because I miss them, because seeing the benefits of doing something is often not as powerful as experiencing its absence. That’s the case with something I’ve been doing for the past eight months or so — not every single day, but enough days to tentatively call it “a thing I do,” if not a thoroughgoing practice.
At the end of the day, I try to write down as many things as I can think of that I appreciate about myself. It might be how I handled a difficult situation, or that I checked something off my to-do list that I’d been putting off. It might be something witty I said, or the way I reframed how I was thinking about a situation. Some days there’s not much content to work with, and I might just appreciate that I made the bed even though I really didn’t want to, or that my hair looked kind of good.
When someone first recommended I try this, I thought it sounded very self-involved, maybe a little pathetic — was my self-esteem so impoverished that I needed to ply myself with compliments? (It turns out that some days, in fact, I do.) But over time I realized that what at first seemed facile was actually sort of revolutionary.
I’d tried practicing gratitude before and found it quite effective. You take a few minutes to write down things you’re thankful for — the kindness of a stranger, the way your child looks at you while you’re reading a bedtime story, the smell of honeysuckle when you bike past that one tree. You remind yourself how lucky you are, that while you’ve been fretting or regretting or despairing, all these good things and people and possibilities are part of your story, too.
With gratitude, you think about things outside yourself. You remember that you’re not alone, that there’s more going on in your life than what’s in your head, and this offers perspective. An appreciation practice entails thinking about yourself, but it’s not the opposite of gratitude; it’s a refraction of it. It’s expressing gratitude for oneself, which at first feels conceited, but eventually, for me, has come to seem anything but.
Left to its own devices, my mind will take stock of the day like a detective, looking for things I did wrong, could have done better or left undone completely. With an appreciation practice, I start with, “What did I do right today?” These are the behaviors and moments we tend not to linger on because they’re usually the parts of the day with the least tension. They’re not the sort of headline stories you might think to tell someone when asked how your day went. They’re not amusing or annoying. They don’t really make for good cocktail party fodder.
But the cumulative effect of memorializing these situations, day after day, is you start to see patterns in your behavior, to note the positive effect you’re having on those around you. And when you see that, you start to like yourself more. And who couldn’t stand to like themselves more?
I’ve found myself behaving differently — more assertively, more compassionately — simply because I know that, tonight, I’ll sit down and look at my day, and I know how good it will feel to appreciate these things about myself. I want to make future me proud. And on bad days, when I’m less than thrilled about how I dealt with things, I have a log of all the things that I’ve appreciated about myself in the past.
Once you start actively looking for things to appreciate about yourself, you realize how you’ve outsourced that task to other people. It feels wonderful when someone else tells you that you did a brilliant job in that meeting, that you really gave them solid advice, that you look great today. An appreciation practice enables you to bring that job in-house, to enlist yourself as your biggest fan. Other people are never paying as much attention to you as you are, so there’s a lot about you to appreciate that goes unremarked upon if you wait for someone else to acknowledge it.
NYTimes Newsletter June 29 2024
By Melissa Kirsch
Good morning. Taking time to enumerate the things you like about yourself each day may sound terminally woo-woo or conceited, but in practice, the results can be pretty transformative.
In an illustration, a woman holds a bouquet of flowers at a market.
María Jesús Contreras
Best practices
I want to be a person with practices. A yoga practice, a mindfulness practice, a gratitude practice. I’m not totally sure when a nourishing activity passes into the realm of a practice, but I think it has something to do with intention and devotion. You prioritize doing this thing that has a positive effect on you or others or on the world you live in — say, sitting in quiet contemplation for 20 minutes each morning, or journaling every night before bed. You commit to doing it on a regular basis, and after enough reps, it becomes part of who you are.
I’ve been hesitant to declare — to myself, never mind anyone else — that I’ve established any of the aforementioned practices because I’m skeptical of my ability to stick with them. I tend to burn hot in the initial phases of something that promises to improve my life, and then lose steam very quickly. I’ve done the first day of the “Yoga With Adriene” 30-day challenge at least 30 times.
One need not be so doctrinaire about one’s practices, I know. The point is to do and feel better, not to get a gold star. I’ve wandered away from many practices only to return to them, usually because I miss them, because seeing the benefits of doing something is often not as powerful as experiencing its absence. That’s the case with something I’ve been doing for the past eight months or so — not every single day, but enough days to tentatively call it “a thing I do,” if not a thoroughgoing practice.
At the end of the day, I try to write down as many things as I can think of that I appreciate about myself. It might be how I handled a difficult situation, or that I checked something off my to-do list that I’d been putting off. It might be something witty I said, or the way I reframed how I was thinking about a situation. Some days there’s not much content to work with, and I might just appreciate that I made the bed even though I really didn’t want to, or that my hair looked kind of good.
When someone first recommended I try this, I thought it sounded very self-involved, maybe a little pathetic — was my self-esteem so impoverished that I needed to ply myself with compliments? (It turns out that some days, in fact, I do.) But over time I realized that what at first seemed facile was actually sort of revolutionary.
I’d tried practicing gratitude before and found it quite effective. You take a few minutes to write down things you’re thankful for — the kindness of a stranger, the way your child looks at you while you’re reading a bedtime story, the smell of honeysuckle when you bike past that one tree. You remind yourself how lucky you are, that while you’ve been fretting or regretting or despairing, all these good things and people and possibilities are part of your story, too.
With gratitude, you think about things outside yourself. You remember that you’re not alone, that there’s more going on in your life than what’s in your head, and this offers perspective. An appreciation practice entails thinking about yourself, but it’s not the opposite of gratitude; it’s a refraction of it. It’s expressing gratitude for oneself, which at first feels conceited, but eventually, for me, has come to seem anything but.
Left to its own devices, my mind will take stock of the day like a detective, looking for things I did wrong, could have done better or left undone completely. With an appreciation practice, I start with, “What did I do right today?” These are the behaviors and moments we tend not to linger on because they’re usually the parts of the day with the least tension. They’re not the sort of headline stories you might think to tell someone when asked how your day went. They’re not amusing or annoying. They don’t really make for good cocktail party fodder.
But the cumulative effect of memorializing these situations, day after day, is you start to see patterns in your behavior, to note the positive effect you’re having on those around you. And when you see that, you start to like yourself more. And who couldn’t stand to like themselves more?
I’ve found myself behaving differently — more assertively, more compassionately — simply because I know that, tonight, I’ll sit down and look at my day, and I know how good it will feel to appreciate these things about myself. I want to make future me proud. And on bad days, when I’m less than thrilled about how I dealt with things, I have a log of all the things that I’ve appreciated about myself in the past.
Once you start actively looking for things to appreciate about yourself, you realize how you’ve outsourced that task to other people. It feels wonderful when someone else tells you that you did a brilliant job in that meeting, that you really gave them solid advice, that you look great today. An appreciation practice enables you to bring that job in-house, to enlist yourself as your biggest fan. Other people are never paying as much attention to you as you are, so there’s a lot about you to appreciate that goes unremarked upon if you wait for someone else to acknowledge it.
NYTimes Newsletter June 29 2024
Small Steps Lead to Big Achievements
Dear Karim,
I was walking around our office here in California recently, and I found an old binder full of Present Moments newsletters from when I first started writing them back in 2015. It’s hard to believe I have been writing these weekly newsletters for nine years. That’s over 400 newsletters.
If you had told me back in 2015 that I had to write 400+ newsletters, I definitely would have said I don’t think I want to sign up to do this—it sounds like too big of a commitment. But when I shift my perspective and just focus on writing one newsletter per week, it seems doable.
When Wayne Dyer talked about overcoming addictions, he would often say that you just have to take things one day at a time. You don’t have to give up the sugar, drugs, alcohol, or nicotine for 20 years—just for today. One day then leads to two days, which leads to nine years … or a lifetime.
I think the same is true for me and this newsletter. I just make sure I spend an hour or two writing it every week, and before you know it, I have written over 400—amazing.
Think of things you want to accomplish in your life, and just concentrate on the steps you need to take today or this week. Don’t focus on the years or decades ahead. This approach truly works, and it’s amazing what you can accomplish. Also, think about all the things that you have already accomplished in your life by just taking things one day at a time.
In many ways this is true for my time here at Hay House. I have now been working here for almost 36 years, which is incredible to me. I never even dreamed that would have been the case when I started, and I for sure never could have imagined all the people we would be able to help with our books, audios, live events, and courses over that time.
Hope you all have an amazing week ahead.
Wishing You the Best,
Reid Tracy
CEO, Hay House
P.S. I want to give an extra special thank you to anyone who has been reading this Present Moments newsletter for the past nine years. Now that is a true accomplishment.
Re: Teachable Moments
HOW TO BE ALWAYS HAPPY IN LIFE.
Advice from Grandma
1. Always remember that there is nobody on this earth that does not have problems. You are not the only one that has problems.
2. Challenges is part of life. It is only a dead man that has no challenges.
3. There is no problem that has no solution. There are solutions to the pains you are passing through.
4. The way you picture yourself in your mind can affect your happiness. Picture yourself as a valuable and beautiful person. Avoid low self esteem and inferiority complex.
5. Do not mind about what people say about you. Some people are sadists. They can just say something's just to make you feel sad.
6. Make friends with reasonable people who make you happy. Do not make friends with people who make jest of you or laugh at you over your challenges.
7. At your leisure time, keep yourself busy with your favorite hobbies like reading , Learning, etc.
8. Do not allow anyone to intimidate you with money and material things. A poor man today can become rich tomorrow. Change is constant.
9. No matter what you are passing through today, do not give up. As long as there is life, there is hope. Never stop trying. Give it one more time.
10. Be very prayerful. Pray without ceasing. Prayer is a catalyst that can speed up your blessings to come to you on time.
11. Be courageous to go for what you want. Life is all about risk. If you don't take a risk, you will not get the desires of your heart.❤
Advice from Grandma
1. Always remember that there is nobody on this earth that does not have problems. You are not the only one that has problems.
2. Challenges is part of life. It is only a dead man that has no challenges.
3. There is no problem that has no solution. There are solutions to the pains you are passing through.
4. The way you picture yourself in your mind can affect your happiness. Picture yourself as a valuable and beautiful person. Avoid low self esteem and inferiority complex.
5. Do not mind about what people say about you. Some people are sadists. They can just say something's just to make you feel sad.
6. Make friends with reasonable people who make you happy. Do not make friends with people who make jest of you or laugh at you over your challenges.
7. At your leisure time, keep yourself busy with your favorite hobbies like reading , Learning, etc.
8. Do not allow anyone to intimidate you with money and material things. A poor man today can become rich tomorrow. Change is constant.
9. No matter what you are passing through today, do not give up. As long as there is life, there is hope. Never stop trying. Give it one more time.
10. Be very prayerful. Pray without ceasing. Prayer is a catalyst that can speed up your blessings to come to you on time.
11. Be courageous to go for what you want. Life is all about risk. If you don't take a risk, you will not get the desires of your heart.❤
10,000 Chances to Create Your Best Life
Dear Karim,
One of the most important things I learned from Louise Hay over the 36 years I’ve worked at Hay House is that your thoughts create your life.
How does that work? What you think about expands, so if you’re always thinking about negative things, then you’re more likely to manifest negative experiences in your life.
Louise would remind us that we have about 10,000 thoughts a day, and if you pay attention, many of them are the same negative thoughts over and over again.
But the good news, as Louise reminded us, is that “it’s only a thought, and a thought can be changed.”
I find myself thinking about this idea all the time, especially when I get caught up in what Louise called the “Ain’t It Awful Syndrome”—dwelling on the negative aspects of life and feeling sorry for myself.
When I notice I'm in this mindset, I remind myself that I can easily fix it by changing my thinking.
This week, I've fallen into old patterns of negative thinking. I've been overly worried about my son, but of course everything turned out fine. I've also been anxious about some of our work projects. My wife, Kristina, reminded me that I often get unnecessarily worried about these ups and downs, but things have always worked out over the years.
Does any of this sound familiar to you? Do you have your own version of these kinds of thoughts?
Louise’s Power Thought Cards are a great tool to help you change your thinking. Here are a couple of my favorite affirmations from these cards:
I am willing to release old, negative beliefs. They are only thoughts that stand in my way. My new thoughts are positive and fulfilling.
As I say yes to life, life says yes to me.
Life mirrors my every thought. As I keep my thoughts positive, life brings to me only good experiences.
I am not limited by past thinking. I choose my thoughts with care. I constantly have new insights and new ways of looking at my world. I am willing to change and grow.
Every thought I think is creating my future.
The Universe totally supports every thought I choose to think and believe. I have unlimited choices about what I think. I choose balance, harmony, and peace, and I express it in my life.
I hope these thoughts help you in the coming week.
Wishing You the Best,
Reid Tracy
CEO, Hay House
P.S. Our Semi-Annual Sale is just around the corner, with 50% off everything in our online store—including Louise Hay’s Power Thought Cards! Sign up now to get a 24-hour head start before the general public, two free gifts (including Louise’s Affirmations for Forgiveness deck), AND free shipping on any items you purchase when you spend $25 or more during your exclusive shopping day. Follow this link to get early access! https://www.hayhouse.com/shop/featured/ ... ntent=9806
Limitless Learner Live Virtual Summit with Jim Kwik!
Change can be scary, and growth can be hard, Karim.
But here’s what I know to be true: the very things that challenge us the most are the keys to our greatest successes.
In today’s fast-paced world, technology and AI are transforming industries at an unprecedented rate. The World Economic Forum predicts that 50% of all workers will need to reskill by 2025. So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone.
Another thing I know to be true, Karim: your ability to adapt and learn faster is what will set you apart and make you more successful.
Join the Limitless Learner Virtual Summit from August 5-7, 2024, and learn how to turn these challenges into opportunities. This LIVE 3-day event will teach you how to harness the power of your mind, overcome obstacles, and achieve limitless success.
Register Now For Free https://thelimitlesslearner.com/hh-register
During the summit, you’ll gain insights from Jim Kwik and other world-renowned experts. Jim, the founder of Kwik Brain, is a world expert in speed-reading, memory improvement, brain performance, and accelerated learning.
After a childhood brain injury left him learning-challenged, Jim created strategies to dramatically enhance his mental performance. He has since dedicated his life to helping millions of people around the world unleash their true genius, learn anything faster, and live a life of greater power, productivity, and purpose.
This event is about fully transforming your mind and life.
By embracing change and unlocking your full cognitive powers, you’ll gain a competitive edge to advance your career or business, and achieve the success you’ve always dreamed of.
Don’t miss this opportunity to embrace change and achieve limitless success. Register now and take the first step towards unlocking your exceptional life.
Register Now For Free https://thelimitlesslearner.com/hh-register
To Your Success,
Reid Tracy
CEO, Hay House
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
Dear Karim,
Many years ago, author Richard Carlson reached out to Dr. Wayne Dyer. He wanted to let him know that his publisher accidentally included a quote from Wayne in a new book of Richard Carlson’s that Wayne had written for another book.
Upon getting the letter from Richard, Wayne gave him a call to let him know that it was no problem. He added that he didn’t have to sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff.
Richard was grateful for the call and asked Wayne if he could use that line for the title of a new book he was writing. Wayne of course agreed.
Well, Richard’s book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and It’s All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life went on to be a #1 New York Times bestseller and Richard’s biggest-selling book, with over 15 million copies sold.
First of all, this may be one of the best book titles of all time. It’s also a reminder I give myself at least once a week when I find myself worrying about something at work or issues with the kids.
I was lucky to receive daily advice from Dr. Wayne Dyer for over 20 years. It’s hard to believe that on August 30th, it will be nine years since he passed away.
Let’s take Wayne’s advice to heart this week and don’t sweat any of the small stuff. And remember, in the grand scheme of our lives, it’s all likely just small stuff.
Have a wonderful week ahead.
Wishing You the Best,
Reid Tracy
CEO, Hay House
Many years ago, author Richard Carlson reached out to Dr. Wayne Dyer. He wanted to let him know that his publisher accidentally included a quote from Wayne in a new book of Richard Carlson’s that Wayne had written for another book.
Upon getting the letter from Richard, Wayne gave him a call to let him know that it was no problem. He added that he didn’t have to sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff.
Richard was grateful for the call and asked Wayne if he could use that line for the title of a new book he was writing. Wayne of course agreed.
Well, Richard’s book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and It’s All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life went on to be a #1 New York Times bestseller and Richard’s biggest-selling book, with over 15 million copies sold.
First of all, this may be one of the best book titles of all time. It’s also a reminder I give myself at least once a week when I find myself worrying about something at work or issues with the kids.
I was lucky to receive daily advice from Dr. Wayne Dyer for over 20 years. It’s hard to believe that on August 30th, it will be nine years since he passed away.
Let’s take Wayne’s advice to heart this week and don’t sweat any of the small stuff. And remember, in the grand scheme of our lives, it’s all likely just small stuff.
Have a wonderful week ahead.
Wishing You the Best,
Reid Tracy
CEO, Hay House
Cosmic Wisdom From A Chinese Mystic
Tao Te Ching – Lao Tzu – Verse 8
The supreme good is like water,
which nourishes all things without trying to.
It flows to the low places loathed by all men.
Therefore, it is like the Tao.
Live in accordance with the nature of things.
In dwelling, be close to the land.
In meditation, go deep in the heart.
In dealing with others, be gentle and kind.
In speech, be true.
In ruling be just.
In action, watch the timing.
No fight: No blame.
One who lives in accordance with nature does not go against the way of things.
They move in harmony with the present moment,
always knowing the truth of just what to do.
The supreme good is like water,
which nourishes all things without trying to.
It flows to the low places loathed by all men.
Therefore, it is like the Tao.
Live in accordance with the nature of things.
In dwelling, be close to the land.
In meditation, go deep in the heart.
In dealing with others, be gentle and kind.
In speech, be true.
In ruling be just.
In action, watch the timing.
No fight: No blame.
One who lives in accordance with nature does not go against the way of things.
They move in harmony with the present moment,
always knowing the truth of just what to do.
A 5-Minute Nightly Ritual for Positive Change
Dear Karim
In last week’s newsletter, I recommended that you listen to Dr. Wayne Dyer and Louise Hay, and that’s exactly what I have been doing this past week.
It’s wonderful to hear both of their voices and their incredible life-changing wisdom.
I used to talk to them almost every day, and I guess I kind of took their wisdom for granted. So it was fun to reflect on their brilliance.
One key reminder I got from both Wayne and Louise this week was that our thoughts create our lives, and we have the power to choose those thoughts.
By focusing on positive thoughts, we open the door to more positive experiences. When we consciously choose to think positively, we invite more joy, abundance, and success into our lives.
Wayne suggested using the last five minutes before sleep to focus on the positive things we want to see in the coming day. Instead of fixating on what’s going wrong in our lives, we can use those eight hours of sleep to help manifest our desired outcomes.
I am the king of thinking about all the negative things before I go to sleep and throughout the night, and I really needed this reminder.
Louise recommends changing your thinking through affirmations. She suggests repeating positive affirmations throughout the day to help reprogram your thoughts about yourself and attract positive outcomes into your life.
By consistently affirming your strengths and desires, you can shift your perspective and create a more fulfilling reality.
Louise also emphasizes the importance of focusing on positive thoughts before bedtime. Many of you have listened to her Evening Meditations over the years, which encourage you to let go of the day's challenges and cultivate a peaceful mindset as you prepare for sleep.
This week, let’s take the last five minutes before we go to sleep each night to focus on the positive things we want to create in our lives. By setting this intention, we can cultivate a more uplifting mindset as we drift off to sleep.
Wishing You the Best,
Reid Tracy
CEO, Hay House