Why are females not allowed to be present at the cemetary?

Past or Present customs and their evolution
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mordants
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2008 9:48 am

Why are females not allowed to be present at the cemetary?

Post by mordants »

We had a death in the family and after a day later, in Khanay, the Committee informs our family as to what needs to happen. How it is to be conduct and so on....
At one point, t was mentioned that,
No females are allowed to go to the cemetary at the time of Burrial / when the body is burried.
I have several cousines who are around the age of 15 - 29 and ofcourse they looked at me funny.
I asked them, wazup? and they stated, why can t we go?
We want to go see our parents get burried. Females at a christian faith are allowed to go at the cemetary and watch the person get burried.
My dad just passed away and I have no brothers or sister and my mom is dead as well. i am the only family member alive, If I want to go see my dad get burried, who is going to stop me?

To not make it worse...I said, let me talk to the people who are incharge of these things and what they say. They informed me that they themselves don t have a direct answer.
Other members of the committe said various things, but then backed out stating that they themselves are not sure and they will try to get an answer.

Some comments were its part of our Tradition?
- What tradition?

We are Muslim and therefore we follow what islams says?
- I could care less about that, I follow my mowla, if he says, say dua 1000x times I will say dua 1000x times. its that simple. He is the authority.

Women are emotional and may throw themselves in the grave after loved one has past
- Really? all the females, I was with, started to laugh so hard, These girls can make any man cry, yet alone get emotional...I started laughing too..

anyways,

before I make this more than what this is.

Back in the days of Prophet Muhameed, there was an incident where women was present at burial and was brest feeding and thus they are not allowed?
- really...that was like a million years ago

So basically us teenagers, who are between the ages of 15+, would like some facts.

Can someone actually provide some facts?

Is there a Farman, or something written in our constituation or tariqah or any mention of this by our beloved Imam.

Ofcourse, we did not go to the funeral burial at the cemetary, as we don't want to hurt someone's feeling at the event.

Moving forward, an answer would be appreciated Thanks Ya ali madad.
kmaherali
Posts: 25106
Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2003 3:01 pm

Post by kmaherali »

There has been some discussion on this issue at:

Rites and Ceremonies --> Funeral Traditions and Ceremonies

http://www.ismaili.net/html/modules.php ... sc&start=0
kmaherali
Posts: 25106
Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2003 3:01 pm

Re: Why are females not allowed to be present at the cemetar

Post by kmaherali »

mordants wrote: We are Muslim and therefore we follow what islams says?
- I could care less about that, I follow my mowla, if he says, say dua 1000x times I will say dua 1000x times. its that simple. He is the authority.
I think that the burial ritual is an 'external' ritual in the sense that it is visible to others (Muslims and non-Muslims). It would be highly inappropriate to show them that we differ from other Muslims in this matter, if we identify ourselves as Muslims. It is like Ramadhan, whether we fast individually or not we do not hold functions/mijalas during the month in the daytime.

Even during the funeral we recite the Shahada which is common to all Muslims. We do not recite the Ismaili Kalima.
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