An Expression of Love

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Indigo
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Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2008 12:30 pm

An Expression of Love

Post by Indigo »

Perhaps the greatest, nay the most important relationship a murid can have with the Imam is that of love. And love cannot remain hidden: it requires an outward expression. Maybe that is why, in His infinite wisdom and mercy, Beloved Hazar Imam has kindly accepted the presentation of MEHMANI from His murids in jamatkhanas.

I don't know whether careful thought has been put over the significance of mehmani, but it is indeed extremely vital for all of us to understand that a mehmani, no matter how big or small, is an expression of love by the murid for the Imam. It is even more important to realise that a mehmani, when taken to jamakhana, is actually being presented to the Imam in that particular jamatkhana.

Let us digress and picture this scenario: You have warmly invited a loved one to your house. He or she comes but then insults you in your very own house. What will be your reaction, as an ordinary human being? Not very positive, I am sure.

But this is the Imam, the Lord of the worlds! He has warmly invited us, His loved ones to His house. Do we have any right to go to His own house and then insult Him?

By now I am sure you know where I am going with this post. A mehmani is an expression of love which we want to present to our Imam and make Him happy. Is it therefore not surprising that we prepare mehmanis with such wonderful and noble intentions and then, at the very moment of presentation to our Beloved, end up insulting Him instead of making Him happy? I say this because this is what I have observed for years and years and years, in fact for over 40 years now, happening in jamatkhanas in many parts of the world. Murids lovingly prepare mehmanis for the Imam but then DO NOT FOLLOW THROUGH. By this, I mean, it is not enough to just bring mehmanis to jamatkhana and leave them there. Since this is a matter of love, is it not correct to say that we have to be particular about every aspect of the mehmani, right up to the presentation in the jamatkhana?

Let us digress and picture yet another scenario: it is Valentine's Day and the one whom you love has thought of you and has taken the pain to go and search for your favourite flowers and your favourite chocolates. When he or she rings your doorbell that evening, you rush to open the door in excitement and then a bunch of flowers and the chocolates are thrust at you, wrapped in crumpled, dirty, old newspaper picked from the ground. What will be your emotions at that particular moment?

I am sure it is obvious now that I am very, very upset about the handling of mehmanis in jamatkhanas today. Mehmanis brought to jamatkhana are dumped in smelly tupperwares, old tin and plastic plates full of cracks and with battered looking appearances (see photograph below) or even worse, put into black mini garbage bags (I refuse to call them paperbags) and then taken inside jamatkhana where they are unceremoniously dumped in the nandi area.

Image

I cannot dare to analyse why sevaadhaaris placed in charge of receiving mehmanis in jamatkhanas would handle such important offerings in such a cavalier manner. I also cannot dare to analyse why jamati Mukhi-Kamadia Sahebs and especially Mukhiani-Kamadianimas do not ever bother to see how jamati mehmanis are being presented to our Imam inside the jamatkhana. I would have thought that it is the primary mandate of the jamati Mukhi-Kamadia Sahebs and Mukhiani-Kamadianimas to ensure that all mehmanis are presented to the Imam in a worthy manner. The Imam is the King and all dishes presented to Him (symbolical presentation is as important as physical presentation) should be done so properly, in exquisite plates and dishes. And yet to date, I have not come across any such revered leaders of the jamat who have paid any attention to the handling of jamati mehmanis. Even worse, after showing them the kinds of dishes used by the volunteers outside and protesting against the use of such unworthy utensils (believe me, some of them cannot be used to feed our pets in!), they have just turned a blind eye and ignored the issue. Or else, given flimsy excuses such as the cost of the exquisite dishes and issues of mishandling and breakage. But this is the Imam, the Lord. Of course, expensive dishes cannot be entrusted to jamati members to take home in advance BUT they can be used to transfer the mehmanis into, once these are brought to the jamatkhana. And if some dishes break, so what? Umedvaars with big hearts are there and if one dish breaks, two will be bought in its place. So why carry on in this pathetic manner?

That is why, today in this post, I am appealing to each of my fellow brothers and sisters, my fellow murids, to take up the initiative: FOLLOW THROUGH WITH YOUR MEHMANIS. Please do not just bring them and dump them with the volunteers. Take the pain, a few minutes, to see how your mehmani is being prepared for presentation to the Imam. Say NO to any unworthy utensil being used. INSIST on a proper dish being brought for your mehmani. Say NO to paper (mini garbage) bags. If this happens, then inshallah, a change will come about and finally, I will see the abolition of these horrible plastic and tin dishes and Tupperware – I hope they are all burnt in a festive bonfire! – and the finer dishes will be unearthed from the stores, where at the moment, they are all gathering dust.

The point of my indignation is that we do not just say “jamat ke hai-zinda” just for the sake of it. We believe in it with conviction. The Imam IS present in the jamatkhana and He IS receiving our mehmanis, expressions of our love for Him. If we could see the Imam with our physical eyes seated there on the stage in jamatkhana every morning and every evening, would anyone dare to present mehmanis in tupperwares, plastic plates and paperbags to Him?

Let it be clear that this post is not about Sufro. It is also not about the size of the mehmani. Whatever we feel like presenting to the Imam out of love, we can present to Him. But it should be done so properly, not in an insulting manner.

Also, I do not wish mehmanis to be confused with nandi. Once the jamatkhana ceremonies are over and the mehmanis have been presented to the Imam, then they are taken for nandi and at that time, anything can be done for convenience. They can be put in paperbags or tupperwares which are easy to carry home, etc. But NOT during jamatkhana time. ALL mehmanis, big and small, MUST be placed in front of the Imam in a manner WORTHY of Him.

I would very much like to hear the opinions of my brothers and sisters on this matter. Do you agree? Is it right for offerings to be taken into jamatkhana in paperbags and ugly old plastic plates and Tupperware? Or is this preposterous and should be changed? I hope my brothers and sisters will have the courage to comment truthfully.

We have a lot to learn from our Hindu brothers and sisters and from Christians and Jews as well. Go once to any mandir and see how the food offerings are placed in front of the Idols. Are they placed in boxes or paperbags? NEVER! Sure, some devotees bring mithai in boxes but the Prohit makes sure those offerings are placed in the best gold and silver thaalis before being offered to the Lord. So why can we not show similar devotion, is the million-dollar question.

Mehmani is a blessing. It is a unique opportunity and it will continue forever and ever. Dua, Dasond, other rituals will stop one day but mehmani will never ever be stopped because even God Himself cannot deny a murid his expressions of love. After all, is it not true that each and every one of us would dearly like to invite our Beloved Imam to our homes for a loving meal? If this were to come true, would we set our table with dirty, broken, cracked plastic and tin plates and present our food in Tupperwares??! Do we even use such dishes ourselves at home for our own personal meals? Then how can we use such dishes for the Imam? Let us immediately stop insulting Him and treating mehmanis in a demeaning manner.

With Ya Ali Madad.
Haysal
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Post by Haysal »

A very thought provoking write up! Submitting Mehmani in broken unhygenic plates - shows we don't care - not caring what is in the ingredients and not checking expiry dates is really careless. Sometimes when I have taken Nandi home something like milk is expired or short dated like for tomorrow almost as if they had it extra and since it is expiring lets keep in JK and earn sawab too! Also I have taken cakes and cookies home with alcohol or pork fats as an ingredient - we as muslim should be careful what we submit for our beloved MHI to eat and not bring prohibitory un islamic ingredients for mehmani.
Indigo
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Mehmani

Post by Indigo »

Thank you for your response and the excellent points you have brought out.

It is certainly very important to clearly understand what is a mehmani. It is a humble, direct offering to Beloved Hazar Imam as an expression of our love and respect for Him, and as such great care has to be taken over EVERY ASPECT of the mehmani. My post above was mainly centered around the presentation of the mehmani in jamatkhana, especially the kind of dishes the mehmanis are placed on. But you have brought out some other, very pertinent points. Your ideas bring to mind the verse of Holy Ginan:

Jo ghar hove bhai vast pyaari
so naam sahebji ke dijeji

Mehmanis are important and should not be treated lightly as the Pir says, we have to give what is dearest to us, what we would wish to give to our Imam if He were physically present. In light of this, the following points should be considered carefully:

* Some time should be devoted to choosing and preparing the mehmani we wish to offer. Just anything should not be picked up because we are in a hurry or we can't be bothered, and taken to jamatkhana as mehmani.

*As mentioned by Haysal, check carefully the ingredients as well as the expiry dates, if deciding to take any store bought items as mehmani. If mehmani is prepared at home, it should, as far as possible, be made using the very best ingredients and cooked fresh (or care must be taken to keep it fresh until the time of presentation).

*It is highly inappropriate to take whatever is extra or not needed to jamatkhana as mehmani. For example: we overbought milk and we will not be able to use it all, some of it might go bad so let us take the extra to jamatkhana.
Please don't insult our Imam in this manner. The same goes for murids who own restaurants and catering businesses. Ideally, the very first dish of the day may be kept aside as mehmani, but certainly not whatever is leftover unsold and will go bad, or will have to be thrown away. Instead let us take to jamatkhana.
Such items can be taken to jamatkhana but at nandi time only. Not as mehmani during jamatkhana time. Taking to nandi is also good and will have blessings as one is contributing to the karsaji but please, my brothers and sisters, mehmani is an entirely different concept. A concept of love, a concept of respect for our Beloved Imam who does so much for us. Surely, we can make the time to take only what is the very best according to our individual abilities and capacities for Him and to ensure it is presented to Him in a worthy manner.

Once again, thank you Haysal for bringing out these important issues via your response.

With Ya Ali Madad
agakhani
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Post by agakhani »

Don't laugh or surprise because this is a true event, that one jamati member in Houston brought a 6 pack beer as Mehmani!!
Thanks Indigo for your post, it is very informative and we all should know the importance of Mehmani.
Last edited by agakhani on Fri Dec 28, 2012 1:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
shiraz.virani
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Post by shiraz.virani »

Don't laugh but it is true that one jamati member in Houston brought a 6 pack beer as Mehmani!!
Thanks Indigo for your post, it is very informative and we all should know the importance of Mehmani.
Wait and watch, admin bhai would come up with a hidden spiritual meaning behind that too :lol: ...Just kidding !!

Btw, not just this I personally have seen parents giving candies to kids in JK that contains "gelatin"....We cannot solve this problem on our own....the problem can be solved when a mukhi or kamadiya emphasizes the importance of ginan and the holy quran to the jamat....Why cant they take an initiative to ensure that the tarjumah of holy quran [just a portion of surah] be recited in JK that talks about all these issues so that people would know.

I think we all should go to our respective JK and have a word with mukhi saheb on this issue....The 1st thing ill do on this saturday or sunday is have a word with our mukhi saheb and see what happens !!
agakhani
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Post by agakhani »

Wait and watch, admin bhai would come up with a hidden spiritual meaning behind that too icon_lol.gif ...Just kidding !!
He may be but it is nothing wrong to post it here because when a al-waez can tell this event in his waez in front of all the jamat then I believe that it is nothing wrong to put it here too.
Indigo
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Post by Indigo »

My dear brothers Shiraz and Agakhani, for over forty years now, I must have approached every newly appointed pair of mukhi-kamadia sahebs and every chairman of the Tariqa Board in my city about this issue. 
No luck, although, 9 years ago,  there was one mukhi who did agree with my argument. However, ironically, he instructed the volunteers to make sure that when I brought my mehmanis they would be put on the best dishes from inside the store. But other jamati members were still give the ugly plastic dishes. Even more ironic was the fact that no one else complained about this or seemed to care at all. Once that Mukhi's term finished, I too had to endure the ugly dishes as the next Mukhi refused completely to use the good dishes from the store.

That is why I have brought this issue here, because if those in authority push you aside and treat you as a grumpy, rebellious old man then how else can this issue be resolved? 

The world suffers
not because of the violence of bad people
but because 
of the silence of good people


Shiraz's idea may work but may I humbly suggest that approaching the Mukhisaheb with a petition signed by a good number of Jamati members may be a wiser move, if we seriously want a positive change.

I thank you for your comments and firmly believe that only if every murid were to join in and say NO to careless presentation of their mehmanis, if every murid were to take time to make sure that the mehmanis are appropriate for and worthy of our Imam then Mukhi-Kamadia Sahebs will have no alternative but to implement a change. And I am sure that will bring a smile of joy on our Imam's face. Is that not what we all yearn for?

With Ya Ali Madad
Haysal
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Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:24 pm

Post by Haysal »

"But seriously does that means he doesn't even know alcohol is prohibited?? Thats sad!"

Reply by ADMIN


I have never heard such thing and I am not young, if this has happened once and we do not even know if this was a joke or really sent by an Ismaili (I doubt) and now saying the whole community is not informed about alcohol being haram when there are so many farmans against alcohol is at the least an uniformed and an uneducated comment.

I have warned about taking one even in history and generalising to make the whole community look bad. I will not tolerate this and I do not like people with some agenda to defame the whole community by making a mountain out of a mole.
Haysal
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Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:24 pm

Post by Haysal »

I think our jamat needs to be informed in "halal and Haram" in Islam specially those living in North America. Many Ismailis do not buy halal meat and even bring memani of meat purchased from american stores. You can eat what you want but at least do not bring for Imam memani made of haram things! The other day one jamati member was arguing that alcohol used during cooking is fine as it gets cooked(?) that she makes certain cakes / dishes with wine and alcohol and I know she brings Memani too. I agree with Indigo - we have to educate about Memani to jamat. That too on urgently!!
agakhani
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Post by agakhani »

I have never heard such thing and I am not young, if this has happened once and we do not even know if this was a joke or really sent by an Ismaili (I doubt) and now saying the whole community is not informed about alcohol being haram when there are so many farmans against alcohol is at the least an uniformed and an uneducated comment.
No, this is not a joke but this is a true event, as I wrote earlier that this event has happened and it happened in Houston, I also wrote that this event has been told by an al-waez in front of whole jamats not only me but in presence of Mukhi-Kamadia and leaders too.
It is possible that the person who brought beer as a Mehmani might not know that beer is not a good thing as a mehmani or beer is haram. but I agree with you that majority peoples know beer is haram.
dhanji
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Location: Austin Texas

MEHMANI

Post by dhanji »

I agree with the posts that the Jamati leader turn a blind eye to the Nandis going in to JK. I on more then one occasion have taken a list of food products that contain PIG by-products. Everyday items such as gold fish, Doritos, Mac & Cheese. Basically any products that has cheese. knowing this not only it is on the nandi paat but the jamat is being feed. Anytime there is a snack, REC snack time, you got these products are there.
I suggest that if you are a cheese lover please carefully research the ingredients. Many candies & deserts also contain pig by products or alcohol.

I truly hope that some one from the tariqa board reads this.

I know that living in the western society, it is hard to ignore lot of the products, How ever there is always alternative products on the grocery self. There is always a vegetarian item available. There is also the option to get Halal products. We just have to make the effort and read the labels.
Admin
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Post by Admin »

I know that in our JK, products are verified to make sure they do not contain lard (pig fat for example as some biscuit also contain lard) or alcohol (like some chocolates can have alcohol) and even expiry date. These producst are removed.
nuseri
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Post by nuseri »

Ya Ali Madad.
Mehmanis are fairly handled in most J.K.
Remember it is a Khoja traditions when offering were made in god in containers bought to temples then.
This is an tradition and Not our absolute tariqa.
All JK have to use utensils made available to them.
So it has to be used over period of time.
It has it own advantages n disadvantages.

Scholar presentation dekhte hai aur intention nahi
Khuda?ALI intention dekhta hai aur presentation nahi.

Do not make big issue over petty aspect of traditions.
sooner rather than later traditions will ease off with time.
Admin
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Post by Admin »

It is not really a Khoja tradition, I think Khojas copied from Jews who were also doing Mehmanies and offerings and also from these primitive Muslims who used to offer Mehmanies to the Prophet (PBUH).
shiraz.virani
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Post by shiraz.virani »

I don't like this auctioning process. I personally feel that Instead of selling nandi/ mehmani one can simply give that food to poor and needy and get blessings.

In hyderabad since the jamat is huuuuge in number, nandi is done right in the middle of jamatkhana [where we recite our dua] and I personally have seen the ladies who sit behind the paat in hyderabad mix chicken with mutton.....mutton curry with fish curry and stuff like that, its not like US where everything is covered in a systematic way. Lots of times there's a spill in JK itself and the whole place smells kinda funky.

This is nothing but a time consuming habit and has nothing to do with ismailism.
tret
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Post by tret »

shiraz.virani wrote:I don't like this auctioning process. I personally feel that Instead of selling nandi/ mehmani one can simply give that food to poor and needy and get blessings.

In hyderabad since the jamat is huuuuge in number, nandi is done right in the middle of jamatkhana [where we recite our dua] and I personally have seen the ladies who sit behind the paat in hyderabad mix chicken with mutton.....mutton curry with fish curry and stuff like that, its not like US where everything is covered in a systematic way. Lots of times there's a spill in JK itself and the whole place smells kinda funky.

This is nothing but a time consuming habit and has nothing to do with ismailism.
I think it's more of a cultural ritual than religious ritual.
zznoor
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Post by zznoor »

Admin wrote:It is not really a Khoja tradition, I think Khojas copied from Jews who were also doing Mehmanies and offerings and also from these primitive Muslims who used to offer Mehmanies to the Prophet (PBUH).
See Agakhani Bhai
Ismailis also steal tradition.

How do you know Sahabas were primitive?
Does this kind of language suit Admin?
fayaz006
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Post by fayaz006 »

@ Shiraz

I dont know about the nandi tradition per se, but during the prophets time people use to bring food to him as well. It was an expression of love that the prophet will eat a murid's food. However the community needed money more than food, so food was auctioned off.

In our culture we tend to say that the nandi is for the Imam, well i think the tradition goes as far back as the prophet's time. As for selling it, again i think our community can use the money more than the food :D :D :D :D
zznoor
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Post by zznoor »

Here is little on prophet going without food

Prophet Muhammad
By Muhammad Ali
When the Prophet actually became the ruler of a state, the furniture of his house was composed of a coarse matting of palm leaves for his bed and an earthen jug for water. Some nights he would go without food. For days no fire would be lighted in his house to prepare food, the whole family living on mere dates. There was no lack of means to live a life of ease and comfort. The public treasury was at his disposal. The well-to-do among his followers, who did not shrink from sacrificing their lives for his sake, would have been only too glad to provide him with every comfort of life, should he choose to avail himself of it. But worldly things carried little weight in his estimation. No mundane craving could ever prevail over him, neither in times of indigence nor of plenty. Just as he spurned wealth, power and beauty which the Quraish offered him when he was yet in a state of utmost helplessness, so did he remain indifferent to them when God granted him all these things out of His grace.
Sorry I cold not provide link. It is not allowed
shiraz.virani
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Post by shiraz.virani »

Fayaz said :
@ Shiraz

I dont know about the nandi tradition per se, but during the prophets time people use to bring food to him as well. It was an expression of love that the prophet will eat a murid's food. However the community needed money more than food, so food was auctioned off.

In our culture we tend to say that the nandi is for the Imam, well i think the tradition goes as far back as the prophet's time. As for selling it, again i think our community can use the money more than the food icon_biggrin.gif icon_biggrin.gif icon_biggrin.gif icon_biggrin.gif
I agree with you fayaz but I think times have changed now....The objection that I have is that the nandi is sold as per market price...Now i know this might sound little crazy but its a fact.

A plate of chicken biryani has a starting price of 150/- rupees and is sold for 500/- rupees...How can a poor person afford that ??? Can't we simply take that food and give it to poor and needy instead ???
Admin
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Post by Admin »

Nandi is not for the poor. Look it this way: If the nandi goes at higher price, ultimately more money will be available for all the work that the Imam is doing for education and to help the poor and the sick and those in need.
tret
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Post by tret »

instead of fishing for the man [give him a fish], teach him how to fish for himself.
if you gave him a fish, tomorrow he will need another fish; but if you teach him how to fish, he will be set for good.

I think that's what admin is trying to say, by money going to Imamat's fund, rather than directly give it to poor.
shiraz.virani
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Post by shiraz.virani »

I agree
agakhani
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Post by agakhani »

Tret & Shiraz,

I also agree with you guys as long as Nandi monies is concern.
nuseri
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Post by nuseri »

Ya Ali Madad>
There are two side of this.
We are not the ones
to DECIDE what should be done to traditions of mehmani.
In our JK ,earlier there were many now they are few members. are given nice mehmani at man murad amount to them as low as one ruppee to 10 rupees only.this is a real sense of brotherhood spirit.
I believe attendence in JK is 10% more daily specifically to get ,see or bid for mehmanis.
It has its own good points.
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