God will provide

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shivaathervedi_2
Posts: 75
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:20 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_2 »

Budd qismati se, shakal se kali biwi ne apne shohar (husband) se kaha ke khirki (window) ke pardey (curtain) lagwa kar dei(n) saamney wala prosi (neighbor) mujhey dekhney ki koshish karta hai.
Shohar ne kaha eek baar dekh leney dou, woh khud hi apni khirki pe pardey lagwa le ga.
shivaathervedi_2
Posts: 75
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:20 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_2 »

Betta: Abu mujhey shaadi (marriage) nahi karni. Mujhey auratu(n) se darr lagta hai.
Father: Kar le betta, Shaadi ke baid sirf eek aurat se darr lagey ga baqi subb achhi lage(n) gi.
shivaathervedi_2
Posts: 75
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:20 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_2 »

Daadi (grand ma) aap ke zamaney mey dus dus (10) buchey (children) kiyu(n) hotey thee?
Daadi replied innocently: Hum saari raat (night) Face Book, U Tube aur What app per waqt barbaad nahi kartey thee.
shivaathervedi_2
Posts: 75
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:20 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_2 »

Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving.

Albert Einstein
shivaathervedi_2
Posts: 75
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:20 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_2 »

EEK AADMI NE MOWLVI SAHEB SE KAHA KE MERI BIWI MUJH SE LARR KAR MEKEY CHALI GAI HAI.

MOWLVI SAHEB NE KAHA; SUBHAN ALLAH AUR TUM APNEY RUBB KI KAUN KAUN SI NIAMATU(N) KO JHUTTLAO GE.
shivaathervedi_2
Posts: 75
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:20 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_2 »

ABB ISS SE BARH KAR MUSAWAT E ISHQ KIYA HOGI
WOH LA MAKAAN HAI TOU DARBADAR HUM BHI HAI(N)
shivaathervedi_2
Posts: 75
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:20 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_2 »

MAI(N) SUCH KAHU(N) TOU BURA LAGEY
JO DALEEL DU(N) TOU ZALEEL HU(N)
YEH SAMAAJ JAHAL KI ZAD MEY HAI
YAHA(N) SUCH BAAT KARNA BEKAAR HAI
shivaathervedi_2
Posts: 75
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:20 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_2 »

YUSUF KA YAHA(N) KOI KHARIDAR NAHI HAI
SHOWCASE ME SAJI BAITHI HAI ZULEKHA MERE AAGEY

DILAWAR FAGHAR
shivaathervedi_2
Posts: 75
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:20 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_2 »

JAAT NA PUCHHE PAAT NA PUCHHE NA PUCHHE GA TERA DHARMA

RUBB TERA PUCHHE GA BUNDHEY KIYA THA TERA KARMA (DEEDS)
shivaathervedi_2
Posts: 75
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:20 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_2 »

MEREY HATHU(N) KE TARASHEY HUEI PATHAR KE SANAM

AAJ BUTT KHANU ME BHAGWAAN BANEY BAITHEY HAI(N)
shivaathervedi_2
Posts: 75
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:20 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_2 »

ABB KE ISS DAUR MEY SOHNI
GHAREY TOU SAREY PAKKEY HAI(N)
MAGAR MENHWAAL KACHEY HAI(N)

NAYYAR
shivaathervedi_2
Posts: 75
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:20 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_2 »

HUM TALIB E SHUHRAT NAHI, HUME(N) NANG SE KIA KAAM

BUDNAAM AGAR HU(N)GE TOU KIA NAAM NA HOGA

SHEEFTA
shivaathervedi_3
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 7:29 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_3 »

Eek shadi ki taqreeb me jinn aa gaya jiss ko dekh kar larkiyu(n) ki chikhein nikal gaie(n).
Ek Baba jo waha(n) moujud tha larkiyu(n) se kaha, beta wuzu kar ke aau tou jinn kuchh nahi kahey ga.
Larkiya(n) wuzu kar ke aaei(n) tou unn ko dekh kar jinn ki chikhei(n) nikal gaei(n), make up jo utter gaya tha.
shivaathervedi_3
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 7:29 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_3 »

Ek aurat ne shohar ke gaal per betha machhar maar diya.
Shohar ne puccha issey kiu(n) mara?
Aurat ne kaha, mujhey accha nahi lagta ke koi aour aap ka khuun piyey.
shivaathervedi_3
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 7:29 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_3 »

AGAR HUM AMIR HOTEY
SAREY KHOTEY KHARED LETEY
KABHI HUM SAWAAR HOTEY
KABHI TUM SAWAAR HOTEY
NA PETROL KA KHARCHA
NA POLICE KA CHALLAN
JAHA(N) CHAHA PARKING KAR LETEY
AGAR HUM AMIR HOTEY ....
shivaathervedi_3
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 7:29 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_3 »

BAARISH SHARAB E 'ARSH HAI YEH SOCH KER 'ADUM
BAARISH KE SUBB HURUUF KO ULTA KE PI GAYA

'ADUM
shivaathervedi_3
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 7:29 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_3 »

Biwi (wife): Dekho mai(n) 55 saal ki ho gai hu(n)phir bhi tumhara eek dost meri ta'reef karta hai.

Shohar (husband): Woh Fayyaz Bhai hoga.

Biwi: Lekin tumhe(n) kaisey ma'lum huwa?

Shohar: woh Kabariya jo hai (dealer in junk articles).
shivaathervedi_3
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 7:29 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_3 »

Saas (Mother in Law) ko chahiye ke woh apni bahu (Daughter in Law) ko shabaas dey ke uss ney uss kay bachey ko sumbhal rakha hai.
shivaathervedi_3
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 7:29 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_3 »

Agar biwi maikey gai ho tou 1973 ke Aa'een (constitution) kay tanazur mei(n) kiya nigran (care taker) biwi rakhi ja sakti hai ke nahi?
shivaathervedi_3
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 7:29 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_3 »

Biwi (wife): Aap apney dost ki biwi ke janazey per kiyu(n) nahi ja rahey ho?
Shohar (husband): Mujhey jaatey huey sharm aati hai.
Biwi: Tou iss me sharmaney ki kiya baat hai?
Shohar: Woh mujhey apni chouthi (fourth) biwi ke janazey per bulla raha hai aur mai(n) ne aaj tak ussey eek baar bhi nahi bullaya.
shivaathervedi_3
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 7:29 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_3 »

Father: Shame on you, dekho padosan (neighbor) ki Ladki (girl) class mey awwal (first) aaei hai, eek tum ho ke...

Son: Aur kitna dekhta, ussey class me dekh dekh kar tou fail hua huu(n).
shivaathervedi_3
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 7:29 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_3 »

Pahla (first): Aaj hamari murghi (hen) ne andda (egg) diya hai.

Duja (second): tou iss me koun si bari baat hai!!

Pahla: Agar yeh bari baat nahi tou tum andda dey kar dikhao.
shivaathervedi_3
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 7:29 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_3 »

One morning Mullah Nasiruddin finds himself in the company of a youngster who, after scrutinizing the Mullah’s face, asks hesitantly, “Sir, I was wondering whether your beard stays over the blanket or under it when you go to bed at night.”

For the first time in his life, the sage is stumped. He scratches his head in puzzlement, “Son, I honestly don’t know, I haven’t paid attention, but I appreciate your asking it. It deserves some observation and thought.”

After some time,when the Mullah runs into the youngster again, his beard is gone; the latter obviously disappointed, has an inquiring, baffled look. The Mullah smiles indulgently, ” My boy, yours was some question; I didn’t know if it was right to leave the beard above the blanket or pull it below the blanket at night. I just couldn’t sleep anymore. My beard had to go.”
shivaathervedi_3
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 7:29 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_3 »

Mulla Nasruddin asked a wealthy man for some money to buy an elephant. If you don’t have money, you can’t afford to keep one, he was told. The Mullah was ready: “I came to you for some money, not advice.”
shivaathervedi_3
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 7:29 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_3 »

Two goldfish in a bowl talking:
Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?
Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?
shivaathervedi_3
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 7:29 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_3 »

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."
shivaathervedi_3
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 7:29 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_3 »

father: What did you do today to help your mother?
Son: I dried the dishes
Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces.
shivaathervedi_3
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 7:29 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_3 »

Man said to God --- Why did you make women so beautiful?
God said to man --- So that you will love them.
Man said to God --- But why did you make them so dumb?
God said to man --- So that they will love you.
shivaathervedi_3
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 7:29 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_3 »

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
shivaathervedi_3
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 7:29 pm

Post by shivaathervedi_3 »

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk ....
The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run. We run.......
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