The late Ronald Reagan, a true Republican, - when they were real - once told a great joke. Here it is for your delight and delectation.
An American and a Russian are discussing freedoms in their respective countries.
The American says, "In the United States, I can walk straight into the Oval Office, pound my fist on the President's desk, and say: 'Mr. President, I don't like the way you're running the country!'"
The Russian replies, "I can do that, too."
The American asks, "You can?"
"Of course," says the Russian. "I can walk straight into the Kremlin, pound my fist on the General Secretary's desk, and say: 'Mr. General Secretary, I don't like the way President Reagan is running his country!'"
- RONALD REAGAN, RIP
Humour
Re: Humour
Don’t have the NHS then this is for you …
Re: Humour
London Heathrow Flight 120 …
… was flying to Malaga with Silly Sam the pilot and Silly Sal the co-pilot.
As they approached the airport, they peered out of the cockpit window. “Blimey,” said Silly Sam. “Would you look at how blooming short that runway is?”
‘You're not kidding, Silly Sam,” said Silly Sal. And Silly Sam said, “this is going to be one of the trickiest landings you ever see.”
Silly Sam laid out the plan. ‘Right, Silly Sal. When I give the signal, you put the engines in reverse.”
“Right, I'll do that.”
“Then put the flaps down straight away.”
‘Right, I'll do that.”
“Then stamp on the brakes as hard as you can.”
“Right, I'll do that.”
“And then hold on tight and say your prayers.’
“I'm doing that already.’
They came in nervous, sweating and praying.
When the wheels hit the ground, Silly Sal threw the engines in reverse, slammed the flaps down, stomped the brakes and held on for dear life. With roaring engines, screeching tyres and smoke everywhere, the plane skidded to a stop centimetres from the edge of the runway.
As they both caught their breath, Silly Sam looked out the front window and said, “that has got to be the shortest flipping runway I've ever seen in my life.”
Silly Sal looked out the side window and says, “you're right, Sam, but look how wide it is.”
… was flying to Malaga with Silly Sam the pilot and Silly Sal the co-pilot.
As they approached the airport, they peered out of the cockpit window. “Blimey,” said Silly Sam. “Would you look at how blooming short that runway is?”
‘You're not kidding, Silly Sam,” said Silly Sal. And Silly Sam said, “this is going to be one of the trickiest landings you ever see.”
Silly Sam laid out the plan. ‘Right, Silly Sal. When I give the signal, you put the engines in reverse.”
“Right, I'll do that.”
“Then put the flaps down straight away.”
‘Right, I'll do that.”
“Then stamp on the brakes as hard as you can.”
“Right, I'll do that.”
“And then hold on tight and say your prayers.’
“I'm doing that already.’
They came in nervous, sweating and praying.
When the wheels hit the ground, Silly Sal threw the engines in reverse, slammed the flaps down, stomped the brakes and held on for dear life. With roaring engines, screeching tyres and smoke everywhere, the plane skidded to a stop centimetres from the edge of the runway.
As they both caught their breath, Silly Sam looked out the front window and said, “that has got to be the shortest flipping runway I've ever seen in my life.”
Silly Sal looked out the side window and says, “you're right, Sam, but look how wide it is.”